Feeling lost but Know I need to be strong could use some help

catwomanforpeace · 29th September 2004, 12:16 AM

I got back together with my ex about 2 months ago after about 3 years of being engaged. About 2 weeks ago he went and put a ring on layaway. I was so happy I thought he was going to actually do what needed to be done for us. Well last night we had a fight because I heard he cheated on me a week ago. I was so mad when he wouldnt answer me that I told him to get out. He did. We talked today about us and he said he was going to come over to talk cause he loves me and wants to work things out. Well after he was done with work he imed me from his parents and told me it was over. I still want to be with him but I know he isnt any good for me and could use some advice on how to not put up with him and take him back yet again. If I did it would be about the 50th time.

jade_nc · 30th September 2004, 1:17 PM

i'm sorry that he's hurting you this way.

i don't really have any profound words of wisdom, but i hope you're feeling better today.

you have to decide what you can live with and what you can't endure. if you're going to have to spend the rest of your life like this, is that really something you're looking forward to? try to find some faith in yourself, some confidence in your abilities, your strengths - make them your priority instead of this man.

now - if i can just do this myself......we'll all be good!

sturtel · 30th September 2004, 4:44 PM

Run. Things like that don't get better. You sacrifice to make it work. It doesn't change. We show the people we are with how we allow them to treat us. If we accept the crap they put us through, we are letting them know its ok to treat us that way. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Backup your words with actions. Don't let someone walk all over you.

catwomanforpeace · 30th September 2004, 5:07 PM

I am still fighting with myself to not ask him to come back. I did tell him last night that I couldnt handle being hurt by him anymore and couldnt take him back again. I am feeling like a complete moron for putting up with him doing this for this long. I have given him everything and given up everything for him. I guess I feel used. I still love him though and I cant stop thinking about how I could change things to make things better between us. Does anyone know how to get these thoughts out of my head? I know he wont change no matter what I do cause I have tried everything already. He keeps telling me its all my fault so I keep thinking that if I change something he will be better. Anyone know how I can get amnesia and forget about how I feel about him? lol.

sturtel · 30th September 2004, 5:10 PM

They like it when we give up everything for them. We allienate our friends and family because they say he's no good. Talk to your friends and family. Start taking your life back. It freaks them out. I have a hard time keeping him out of my thoughts. I start counting to 100 or start conjugating verbs in another language. Do something that makes your brain think about something else. It just takes time and NO CONTACT.

catwomanforpeace · 30th September 2004, 5:18 PM

I cant do no contact with him cause of his son. I have raised him for the last two years and it wouldnt be fair to him to just walk out of his life. I have to be able to be friends with him. We were friends before we ever started dating too so I dont want to lose that part of our relationship. He always has been my best friend. I just need to get the part of me that wants him to go away.