Should he change?

ltomlinson81 · 2nd September 2004, 6:37 PM

My boyfriend of 4 years recently cheated on me and I decided to take him back. Do you think he should be behaving differently than if it had never happened? Maybe spending more time with me? Or is that too much to ask?

ConfusedInOC · 2nd September 2004, 6:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ltomlinson81
My boyfriend of 4 years recently cheated on me and I decided to take him back. Do you think he should be behaving differently than if it had never happened? Maybe spending more time with me? Or is that too much to ask?

1. What was his excuse for cheating?
2. Do you think it will happen again?
3. Why did you decide to take him back?

It will be hard to have a trusting relationship with him now that he's cheated. Trust me, it's not easy.

ltomlinson81 · 2nd September 2004, 6:55 PM

Well, my decision is tentative, depending on how I feel in the near future. I decided to take him back because he only made out with this girl. And I don't think it will happen again, but I am definitely unable to trust him the way I once did.

I just think maybe he should be buttering me up for a while.

Breathe · 2nd September 2004, 6:56 PM

Maybe instead of thinking "should he change" you should look at the relationship itself and figure out what needs to change there. Something made him want to cheat and go through with it - what was this reason for seeking outside the relationship what he couldn't get from within?

ltomlinson81 · 2nd September 2004, 6:57 PM

Kind of a 25-year-old crisis. Feeling like he is getting old and has not done anything with his life and has been in a relationship for so long. He claims he has gotten over it.

ConfusedInOC · 2nd September 2004, 7:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ltomlinson81
Well, my decision is tentative, depending on how I feel in the near future. I decided to take him back because he only made out with this girl. And I don't think it will happen again, but I am definitely unable to trust him the way I once did.

I just think maybe he should be buttering me up for a while.

Only made out? Then maybe there is some hope....depends on what you're willing to deal with.

After 4 years he hasn't popped the question?

ltomlinson81 · 2nd September 2004, 7:03 PM

Yeah, he is 25 and still in college - graduating this year. I am ready to get married, but he probably won't be until he gets a real job and is more settled.