Look being married is not going to stop her from accomplishing the goals she wants to accomplish. eg.. school and promotions. I have a friend who was studying to be a doctor even though she had two toddlers. It was tough but she managed.
I don't really know if your girl is motivated to go get what she wants. So far she seems to be in a rut.
If I were you I would encourage her to do these things alot. You dont have to have kids yet she is still young. So get her to do these things. And for gods sake if you love her marry her.
You are having conflicting feelings at the moment because the insecurity naturally resulting from her actions could be forcing you both in the direction of making a gesture that gives both of you the relief of knowing the other is committed, while the fact she broke things off is preventing you wanting to make that commitment.
Wanting to get married because the gesture of commitment is needed after your recent troubles is the wrong reason for marriage. Getting married after pinpointing that all the reasons she left in the first place are reasons she could leave again wouldnt be a good idea and id advise you against making this permanent at this stage. I think you should look at working through these issues with her and give it another 8 months dating so you can assess whether you are still right for each other.
Explain to her why her marriage/baby hints havent prompted a proposal – be honest and explain your doubts so there’s no resentment from her that she isnt getting what she wants. Keep the communication open and build your trust together.
You seem to have a good head on your shoulders, and just not looking at the present, but the future. I am of the opinion to never have a serious relationship with someone in their early twenties, who hasn't at least had a place of their own. Women go through that 'independent' streak sometime in their life. And problems start when they hit that, while being with someone.
She is unsure about her direction in life, but that doesn't mean she can't search for it without you. For people to say 'I have to find myself' and let their SO go, is a cop-out. Your SO is suppose to be there for you through good & uncertain times.
Anyway, my suggestion would be to find a good licensed marriage counselor. Even though you aren't married, you are in a long term relationship and they will take you. Call your local hospital for references.
She needs to find her own friends, that is important. Can you get her involved in your business? Even if it's in a little way, at least she'll feel a part of it and you.
Sounds like she has a big heart, and she's learned alot. She just needs a little more direction, in which a good counselor can give the both of you.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
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