[bones1]

Recently I started dating a woman. Chemistry is fantastic. Has only been a month, but we have seen each other about 10 times, usually when she is not travelling for work. She also has kids a couple days of the week, but i am usually there on weekends when they are gone...Everything is great from sex, to talking, to just hugging and kissing anytime and everywhere....Is rare for me to find such excellent chemsitry...

But I have noticed the things she says are fairly extreme... Me moving in, travelling, future, love, etc etc. When I am with her, she acts completely in love. My problem is the days that I am not with her, she seems to be distant, and aloof. I can call her at 6, and she may not call back for a day and a half. I can email her, and i get no reply at all. This past week I have not seen her at all. She has been too busy, as she says, and she has also been acting in a way that makes me think I am being annoying. To me it is normal to call a close lover once a day, leave a message just to say hi. I dont feel i am being obsessive. And I also would expect to get a call back, or an email back, sometime soon from someone that says so many th ings to me.

I have missed her this week, but think I may have messed things up by asking why she doesnt call, why she acts aloof, etc etc. I am no good at playing the "I am Mr. cool that doesnt notice when you dont return a call game" Just saying "I am busy" doesnt make sense, as I know everybody can return a call for 30 seconds, and just say something nice, as she does when we are together.

So right now, unfortunately , I am at the point of giving up. I tried to talk to her about it, and she was basically like "well i am really busy" Is the best plan not to call anymore, and just wait for her to miss me? Or be persistant to let her know once again I am very interested, but risking looking pathetic, and needy.

[faux]

I might advise backing off for a while, but not in an attempt to cull attention from her. If you think she is playing games, it would not be wise to stoop to her level. I do think it was right of you to explain to her how you feel, and to ask for an explanation. I do agree that "being very busy" is not always enough of an explanation, but you may want to save that conversation for the next time you two are spending time together.

The next time you two are alone, I would definitely recommend that you try to have a discussion with her. Bring up what you have noticed, what bothers you, and find out why these things are going on. I think you need to have some answers for yourself, and I agree with all of the points that you made. Still, it might be best to wait for her to contact you. If she is so lovey-dovey when the both of you are together, I think she could spend some effort into showing she cares or misses you in between.

[bones1]

Thanks for the reply, and some good points. I am really not even sure what "dating" means anymore. It seems in this day and age, so many people say so many things about love and future so quickly, without even knowing the other person, that things get very confusing..

If she is busy, I completely understand. I guess i feel a little hurt that someone all of a sudden, after one month is just like "i am too busy to return a call" and kind of having an attitude about it. I guess i will just give her space, and wait it out. If it doesnt work, it doesnt work, I guess sometimes distance does make the heart grow fonder.