[tical]

If anyone can help me i would certainly appreciate it. I a man of 24 and i"ve been with my gf who is 23. Shes been through alot and i've been right their for her, she grew up in a very strict christian home and is now starting to mature for her age ( could be part of my problem) , almost got rape 2 years ago etc. The point is I love her and i Knew she loves me and up to this point in mylife until i spoke to her recently i never thought that their was a chance that she would not marry me. In addition, we've been off celibacy and on again( her idea, i respect it, but i'm dying over here!) for about 1 year. I spoken to her about getting married in the next 2-3 years we've been together 3 years already.her reaction is that she won't get married until she at leasts 29-30 and sometimes speak as if she would be happier not married. The weird thing is she is very strong willed in her decision. Is something going on here that i'm not seeing? I would really like a women's prespective on the subject. I'm tired of not waking up next to her! Now i'm afraid that I could ask the big question in a few years and get rejected. Worst yet i think i'm starting to hate her for her seemingly lack of consideration. She sites reasons like school( which she hasn't been taking seriously to begin with.), she afraid of marriage( she hasn't given a real reason for her fear) Enough...Please some advice should I wait the 2 to 3 years propose and see what happens? or are the signs saying your wasting your time!

[angel_goddess20]

How long have you been with her, and what makes you two decide to do the whole celebacy thing? It's not healthy to go on and off that stuff. It can mess a lot of stuff up.

[Rosiecat]

she's afraid of getting pregnant? Also, maybe she's thinking things will be more secure in a few years. And still possible that she's not absolutely sure you're the one for her... did she date much before she met you?

Personally, I think people jump into sex too early these days. I'm wondering if she's afraid of getting a disease. Sex is so complicated... men don't like condoms (actually, neither do I) yet the pill can have detrimental effects on women, and still the threat of disease if the two partners aren't totally exclusive.

Ask her if any of these concerns apply, and listen to any clues she gives you. And I hope being celebate doesn't mean you don't snuggle a lot! You can be really, really close without actually performing the... uh... act...?

[tical]

Thanks ladies and gents for taking the time to reply to my orginal post . First, shes never really dated much our relationship about 3 years now is really the first time she really got a chance to experience life outside of home( she assures me, that she not exploring or has a need to try dating other people. Also I been very faithfull to her. And finally the celbacy thing sort of happened after she almost got rape( I did'nt find out till about 1 month later after she had given me her virginity!) so in a way she thinks it because of a lack or favortism on gods part...

How you can handle such is to be aware of her motives for asking you such.... Can you think of a reason or few why she is acting this way? If she gave you her virginity - it doen't then have to do with religion then, it must be due to some external souce or information which she is scared to tell you or relate to you.

Why not ask one of her friends, bu plz do not ask them why cant she marry me - women have there on cents to put in, and then more problems will occur.

Just ask her friend and take her out for a walk where you both are alone...then tell hre you love her, and wish to excell this relationship, and tell her that if school is or will be infering with our relationship - tell her I am here for you, for all your support and dedication....

[MJTig]

She ever go to counseling for the sexual assault?

Its amazing how that can affect someone's perspective on relationships and such. I am not saying that everythying is because of that, but it might help sort out some things... the reason I say this is because of the "lack of favortism" line in your post.