lovers to friends to lovers?

fredrolin · 3rd August 2004, 4:01 PM

I met Jen when she was 18 and I was 23. I was on the rebound from a bad breakup and Jen fell for me. We dated and lived together for 4 years but I cheated on her regularly.
Jen dumped me for good, went though several terrible relationships and we stayed in touch.
I got married, had a child and Jen and I became close friends mostly though e-mail, phone calls and rare visits. We could say anything to each other, very different then during the relationship, which involved different emotions.

Now Jen is 8 months pregnant, and her husband dumped her for good. My marriage is a mess.

Could it ever work between Jen and I? I am now 40, Jen is 35.

uriel · 3rd August 2004, 4:38 PM

So your marriage is a mess and, as a result, you are thinking about leaving your wife for another woman? Have you changed at all? Is there any reason Jen should trust you?

Clean up your own house first. Then, once you are free, if you have something real you can offer her, ask. Don't bring this mess to her door when she's in the middle of one already.

-- uriel

Little_Geisha · 3rd August 2004, 4:41 PM

Making sure you have a back door just in case you decide to leave your marriage? Why don't you decide first if your marriage is going to work before you decide if you have a chance with an old girlfriend.

o0lovindrama0o · 12th August 2004, 1:37 PM

First off - Why have all your other relationships including this marriage failed?

What part of this failing was your fault?

What can you do to make sure that you don't fail again?

If you fall short again would Jen be able to forgive you and move past it?

What parts were your partner's fault?

If you date Jen will she repeat the mistakes of your past partners?

If she did would you be willing to forgive her for the sake of her child?

How much work is a relationship between you and your old girlfriend going to take?

Are you willing to work that hard?

She has a child on the way. You need to make sure that if you do decide to go forward, that you don't mess it up. It isn't fair to that baby. If you care about her then you will be catious and set aside your pride and every lie you have told yourslef for that baby's sake.