I apologize for this really long thread, but I need to vent, and this place seems like there's some really nice, objective people here that may be able to offer some words of advice.
I have been dating a guy for almost 1 1/2 years, and have never felt anything like this love before. Until recently, we have been open in talking about the future - which we believed was together - and he was one of those guys that could talk about anything without feeling pressured or weird. Truly amazing.
A few months ago, we were both feeling a little anxious, because we were getting less and less time alone - he was working a lot for a trip we were going on, and I was doing the same, plus we still live at home - and I said that things will be better on the trip, just the two of us.
The trip comes along, though, and I dunno what happened, because it wasn't picture perfect as I hoped. He says that I didn't want to be as close as I said I did, that I acted not close at all - and once we returned, he basically said heck with that, I need my space and started hanging out more with his friends.
Don't get me wrong, everyone needs friends and time alone from a relationship to hang out. But it's been two months, and my guy has slowly been changing - we hardly hung out at all, he always hung out with this one frineds constantly, and just wanted more and more space - but he never told me this until recently.
All he kept saying when I finally decided this wasn't right and talked to him, was that he jsut enjoys hanging out with his friends now. I arranged a night out, and it was going okay until we went to a bar and I got moody, all these friends of his started talking with him and sitting with us. He said my mood really really hurt him. I arranged another night out, we went for a drive without bringing anything up, but at the end, it all came up again, and I was really emotional. The whole time he said all he wants is for me to speak my mind be open - so a couple days later, I sent an email doing just that. And that's when he said he needed a break, it would do us good, and that we would talk the next day. Like a fool, I called him the next day, and the reception was less than warm - a few minutes, saying he was gonna call me to check up...I told him, well, I'll be around you have my number.
It's been 6 days, and basically I've never been through this before. Any other time, a break has meant it's over, but I don't want that, he says he doesn't...I've asked him a few times, do you want to break up, is that want you need - because I'm trying to get everything on the table, none of these games - he said everytime, no he loves me, I'm his best friend, he does not want to break up.
Can a relationship survive this? I thought this guy was it, he thought I was it, I've apologized a zillion times, been depressed as heck - I feel ashamed, guilty, regretful - it feels like I've blown something that could have been very special. And he never even said how much time he needs, only that he needs it. I've respected his wishes, haven't called or anything, because really things are up to him. But how long should I wait for this guy to figure things out? What should I do? I don't want to wait in limbo for something that may not ever happen...and if this is doomed, I need to get on with my life, and stop pining for someone that obviously does not want me.
Thanks for any messages I get
Hybrid Mode
