[Thinkalot]

I do. Especially my mum. I want everyone to like her....especially my fiance. I am an only child, and for many years it felt like mum and I against the world. I know she has faults. I see them now (I didnt when I was younger....in fact I didn't until a few years back!). I love her so much though, I have come to realise I want to shield her faults from others.

She got angry about some stuff on the weekend. She acted emotionally and unfairly. My fiance knew...because he heard my phone conversation with her, and saw my tears afterwards. his also seen it happen before, and for a time, he and mum did not get on at all. They do now though, which has made me even more determined it seems, to try and shield any of her faults from him.

Yesterday she said sorry...I forgave and was ready to move on like nothing happened. Of course my fiance is a lot more wary, and while he'll also move on,he won't forget. And it certainly hasn't built any extra closeness.

Now, my main lingering upset, is that...that I wish he had not seen that side of her...that he could just see her many good points...and think she was terrific. He thinks she's nice, and helps her out etc, because she is my mum. That's it. He also finds some things she does extremely frustrating, and does judge some of her actions.

He said I'm always jumping to her defence, and trying to protect her. I realised, I do! I also feel so dissapointed and sad if she acts in a way which is not fair...I want her to be all these wonderful things I guess. For so many years, I looked to mum for guidance, and really could see no wrong in her.

Can anyone relate?? Is this how parents feel about their kids? Can anyone help me understand why I do this, or how I can try and let go of this need to have everyone so perfect between everyone else...and to have this vision of my perfect mum?

I've struggled with this one for some time.