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I agree, Pained.
You will have to agree with your partner what feels right for you and what doesn't.
I know a lot of people are bemoaning the fact that 'traditional' marriages are on the wane.
However, many 'traditional' marriages were not happy affairs. Women stayed in them because they had few other options. Back in my mother's day, a divorced woman was a social pariah in her community.
Today, women can get divorced, remain independent and move on. So many now do get divorced in droves.
We are given more choices today. It is both a fortunate and unfortunate thing. With choice comes more personal responsibility for how your own life turns out. With choices comes the need for greater personal awareness.
Lives were more choreographed in the 1950's. Today, you can be single, cohabitating, divorced, twice-married, same-sex cohabitating, an unmarried parent, a childfree person....all generally without too much backlash.
It's a confusing time for many people
I think we both desire freedom to make our own choices
at the same time we yearn for someone else to 'tell us what's right'
I personally am not fond of the marriage institution. I choose to remain unmarried and monogamous in my relationship. We are very happy and feel this relationship works the best for us.
In fact, we both agree it's the best relationship either of us has ever been in.
This is the longest lasting and most compatible relationship I've ever had, for sure.
It's still work, of course.
But I'm so glad to be free of all the wedding crap and conforming to others' expectations for me.
For me, it WORKS.
I can't tell you what will work for you. You will have to do some soul searching. Why not read books on the subject? Read lots of message boards and news articles. Educate yourself. Inform yourself. Expose yourself to multiple points of views. Then think about your own value system. What's important to you?
Make a decision that 'clicks' for you.
And find a person whose ideals are in line with yours.
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