[lovely]

i have been married for just over 1 yr. the last few months have been a nightmare. he says he isn't happy being married to me and is not "in love" with me. although we are best freinds (from both points of view), and have a great physical relationship.

what do i do? i am completely in love with him and want to be with him forever, yes i know i am a romantic, but that is one of the reasons he fell in love with me to begin with. he wants a separation, and feels guilty for "destroying" my dreams.

any help, advice, or freindly comfort. i am absolutely devestated. i don't make enough money to have a place of my own, so i would have to move in with my parents 2 hrs away.

[milla]

I don't know if there is more to it, but it sounds to me like he just doesn't like being married. I don't know if this can be fixed with a bit of perspective and counselling, but you don't make that sort of commitment and then destroy the other persons dreams just because you don't feel like being married anymore.

Has he given you a reason, other than just "falling out of love"? It sounds awfully frivolous to me. I am so sorry. I hope he comes to his senses.

[ready2moveon26]

I am very sorry to hear about your situation. I know how you feel. My husband did the same thing to me after we were married for two years. He came home from work one morning and woke me up and said, I just can't do this anymore and left and we were seperated for 3 months. We did get back together, but are now, again seperated and seriously considering a dissolution. I don't know if it's inborn, but how was your husband raised? Are his mother and father still married to one another? I am very curious about this because my husband's mom has been married 5 times and his dad has been married 2. It may be something these men learned in their lives.

[Karlise13]

How very sad.

It sounds like he came into the marriage with unrealistic expectations.

That gushy 'romantic' phase only lasts a short time. Then a couple settles into the reality of day-to-day life. Romance can wane as a different type of love develops.

Unfortunately, some people are 'romance' addicts and want to feel that first flush of passion over and over and over again.

One of my friends is like that. She will get into a relationship, fly high on the passion for about 7-9 months, then come crashing down as she realizes once again this is a REAL person with his own needs, wants, faults, shortcomings and opinions.

She freaks out somewhere along this point, starts picking the guy apart, tearing into every little fault, and they end on a dramatic and horrible note.

It's awfully sad.

Did you guys rush into marriage by any chance? I mean, how much time did you spend getting to know each other?
Was it a very romantic courtship?

Sounds like he needs to grow up and get a reality check.

I am so sorry for your pain.