loneliness, ignorance, girls loving jocks. will i ever find peace?
hiya all.. i'll try to make this short; because i'm sure you don't want to read in other people's lives. i'm sure some of you out there think like me.. i'll try not to be arrogant... but i have to reveal some details about myself.. so here i go:
i'm a senior in high school...
... but i'm not as immature, or anything like, the kind of kids who throw pine cones at cars or tee pee houses for fun. I hang out with other kids like me, the non-arrogant 'easy going' type of people, i guess you could say.
lemme tell you about me: i guess i could say i'm 'handsome'. i have a decent toned muscle build and have virtually no blemishes. i keep myself well shaven, try to keep my hair appealing, as my number one goal is the girl. no, i'm not some high school horn ball like your thinking. what i'm searching for i.. i guess, is the girl of my dreams. i bet 9 our of 10 of you are going to say "wake up and smell the coffee, kid!!". but believe me, right now i believe in this dream.
Ever since junior high school, i've been ignored. there's been the occasional relationship here and there, but it never works out for the best. actually, it usually ends up the girl with one of my friends or a football player.
and it's not like i would mind any of this to a greater level of consciousness... but, i lost my two best friends (women) to bigger, better, bolder guys.. and suddenly, neither of them have time to hang out, or even talk to me. i guess they found very dominating guys.
over the last few years i've had very minimal contact with both of them. i feel extremely lonely without them, since we've been friends for so long. it's obvious, i miss them. But now, i feel even more inclined to find the Magical Dream Girl. They were always there for me, but i guess god intends for me to do this alone.
oh.. and yes, i'm not a nerd and i have a lot of friends ^^
however, all of them, i'm not joking, have serious girlfriends. makes it a little hard for me to strike up a conversation with a Romeo, or a Juliet.
so... what i'm saying is, does anyone think i have any hope?
i don't know... a "No" would give me more peace then a "Maybe".
i've held on to this dream, that someday, someone will come along into my life and save me from all the loneliness in life. I know, this isn't a Disney book..... but do you think it's possible? maybe? if you think no, say so. i can't find this answer by myself... i need someone to slap me in the face, so i can wake up from this dream, or even maybe a nightmare.
i wonder sometimes what girls think of me.
I'm not just saying, but i know that i'm a 'nice guy'. i'm always polite, and have been brought up with an Iron Fist from my Mom to treat Women with the highest respect. but you know how it goes, nice guys finish last. slap me if you will... but i'm sick of hearing "girls like you blah blah blah you'll find someone someday" when i know it's either not true, or taking a super long ass time.
even tho it shouldn't ... this stuff is eating right into me. i don't understand myself... but i know that someday, hopefully soon, i'll find her, and maybe i'll find peace before i leave this earth.
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