My girlfriend has had a few more partners than I have in the past. I feel great jealousy and resentment because of that. She started having sex at 16, is that too young or abnormal at all? Also, what can I do to stop these jealous feelings? Sometimes I feel like having sex with a random woman just to get back at her or something. I know that is bad, what shoud I do?

[singa]

I've been that girl and no I didn't sleep around and I doubt your girlfriend did. She can't take what she has done back and it happened before she meet you. Trust me I'm sure if she could take it back and any hurt it's caused you she would, but she can't. So you have to decide whether you can live with that. Also think about this - did anything you did in the past effect how you feel about her.

As for having sex with random people- don't even think it- it will only end your relationship and unlike her the pain you cause will be intentional.

Also 16 is not too young- a lot of people start then.

[Pyrannaste]

Originally posted by moneyman

My girlfriend has had a few more partners than I have in the past. I feel great jealousy and resentment because of that.

If she has cut all emotional ties with them being jealous has no sense.
Resentment....why? She was not dating you at the time!

She started having sex at 16, is that too young or abnormal at all?

No and no.
I guess that if you could you'd have had sex at that age too.
It is not her fault if at 16 she was asked out because she was pretty/nice/intelligent/fun, people liked her and she happened to like someone back. It is not her fault if at 16 while she was doing this you were either shy, or had a bad acne case, and girls either did not ask you out or you did not like them back.
Or perhaps you had only one or two good relationships and she wasn't so lucky and had to date more people because her relationships did not last that long.

Also, what can I do to stop these jealous feelings?

Concentrate on the fact that she is with you now. Your partner is not supposed to come out of a sealed box with wrapping and a big bowl and with a warranty seal.

Sometimes I feel like having sex with a random woman just to get back at her or something. I know that is bad, what shoud I do?

Realize it would be utterly wrong, utterly childish, utterly stupid.

Realize it is just being insecure, or perhaps just jealous because she had more partners than you did.

Having sex with a random woman would be stupid even if she cheated on you and you had anything ACTUAL to get back at her for.
You don't have anything to get back at her for. She did NOTHING wrong or disrespectful for you.

Picture this: many years later you meet this wonderful girl who is perfect and is still a virgin. you fall madly in love. Everything seems perfet but one day she tells you: "hey! you had sex with someone else before meeting me. I think it is unfair. So this morning I had sex with the milkman, the postman and all our neighbours. Now we are finally even, aren't you happy?"
How would you feel?

[cowgirl]

PLEASE!! Dont ever judge anyone on thier past!!!

I had an x-bf judge me on my past that was before him and it split us up and only caused he and I alot of heartache. It didn't help the situation that he was told alot of rubbish and refused to hear the truth...

Everybody has a past and that's exactly what it is - THE PAST!!

Surely you have done things in your past that you wouldn't mind taking back. I never judge any potential partner on their past and never have.

You'll only torture yourself if you continue to dwell on it. You have nothing to worry about, it she's moved on so should you. Live for the moment and enjoy her.

Good Luck!!

[shortbus74]

The past is the past.... you can not change it or make it go away....

I am jealous of my future hubbys past (I admit it) but I cannot change it.... I have learned to deal with the fact he had a life before he met me.......


I know that it is hard but you cannot let someones past bother you

Prye.....can I steal your saying? I love it!!

[Pyrannaste]

Originally posted by shortbus74
Prye.....can I steal your saying? I love it!!

sure!