[JAK]

Hi,

I've got a tricky situation unfolding with my boss. My working environment is mainly all-female working on various projects for our Boss's company that his wife is also involved in to a minor degree.

To cut a long story short my boss is a serious flirt, but very talented in the way he pays his complements to myself and my colleagues. This causes a lot of jealousy as different people play for his affection. It is well know that he is unfaithful to his wife even though we all know her very well and she is very kind to us all. But, my boss has taken a fancy to me now and I am finding it increasingly difficult to resist his advances. I seriously do not want anything to happen because I do not want anything to compromise our working relationship... ie I don't want to be beholden to him for pay-rises or him to think I have used him to get promotions...

But, he finds lots of excuses to take me and colleagues out to dinner, walk me back to my car alone after work, make visits when I am alone and he is also very "touchy" which makes it very difficult to tell him to stop because the difference between just pleasant affection (hand on shoulder) and going that little bit too far is very fine and I don't want to seem like I'm frigid.

What is the best way to deal with this?

JAK

[bluechocolate]

That's a difficult one. How about every time he's around you constantly ask about and talk about his wife? Is there anyway that you & his wife can get closer acquainted? When he sees that you two are friends he may just leave you alone.

The easiest answer would be to find another job.

[wideawake]

What a scumbag...

Sorry for the judgement call, but I've worked around guys like this before and they piss me off.

I'm not sure what YOU should do. If I was you I would tell him in a very straight forward way that you're not comfortable with him flirting with you, nor do you like him to touch you. Let him know that you really think highly of his wife, and would hate for her to ever get the wrong impression....like the impression that you would ever have anything to do with such a philandering ****bag...

Just my 2 cents.

[JAK]

You've both got good ideas.

I think what I needed was just a bit of a boost to my morale! Basically it's down to me to be straight with the guy and not give out any misleading signals.

Thanks, I feel a lot more confident now!

[SoleMate]

I don't want to seem like I'm frigid

Hunnnhh? You feel the need to prove the warmth and passion of your sexuality to your boss? What kind of job is this, anyhow? If it's anything other than stripper, concubine, or sex surrogate, your sexuality is not a job qualification.

Next time he touches or attempts to touch you, cringe away from his hand like you got burned. A little shriek is optional. No matter what he says in response, whether soothing or teasing or angry, just say, stony faced, "You startled me". And then DROP the topic. And make sure you always keep your purse or another object between him and you - whether walking or sitting - and also keep other people between you when possible. I'm quite sure Mr. Touchy Feely will get the message in about 23 microseconds or won't want to run the risk of being shown up further.

[wideawake]

Originally posted by JAK
You've both got good ideas.

I think what I needed was just a bit of a boost to my morale! Basically it's down to me to be straight with the guy and not give out any misleading signals.

Thanks, I feel a lot more confident now!

Kick ass JAK!!

Keep your head held high and don't ever let anyone make you feel uncomfortable like that in a work enviroment!

And if he doesn't take subtle hints, lay it out for him. Look him in the eye and let him no in no uncertain terms that his advances are neither enjoyable nor appreciated.

If he still doesn't get the message ask him if you need to speak with a lawyer or if he can adjust his behavior.

or just drop a civil suit like a bomb on his dumb ass head...