Cheating, Flirting, and JealousyBeing unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.
My boyfriend and I have only been together five months but it's been the best five months of my life! We are extremely close and spend almost all of our time together and can talk about anything but there is just one problem - he keeps calling me buy his ex girlfriends name. They split up 2 years ago so i odnt understand why...our names are similar - melissa and melanie so that could be part of it... it often happens when we are just mucking around and having fun.
The last time it happened he was singing along to that Lj Hokker advert "Lj Hooker your the best" only it was melanie ------ ------ your the best. he realised what he'd done and said oh! melissa ---, *pause* Melissa ---- ----- but that time he got it right. I couldn't believe he had to htink about it..but he looked totally mortified so i told him it was ok...but then i talked to him about it later and told me it hurt me when he called me by her name and that it's happened a bit too often and he just said 3 times in five months isn't all the time. (it's more like 7 times) i couln't believe an answer like that he's never said anything like that ever be4 so i'm really confused i dont know what to do i can't help but be extremely jelous of this girl![color=red][/color]
I can understand your anxieties quite well...BUT it probably really is just an innocent slip, coming from habit in the past relationship. I once called my current partner an ex's name! It was a completely innocent slip, and meant nothing. He teased me about it, and I felt embarassed and apologised profusely. That's it. He's probably embarassed about it too, so he tries to make light of it. If there are no other signs, he is still hungup on the ex, I'd try not to pay it too much mind.
I agree with other replies you got. It does not sound like anything you should worry about. It probably wouldn't happen if the names were not very similar, and your bf sounds very anxious/embarassed about it..... which probably makes him slip the wrong name even more.
He surely does not care about his ex anymore, it's just habit.
It's funny. Ya it's happened to me before too. No sweat. Chill! But if he calls out her name when making love to you then grab your handbag and whack his head!
I would have to say that the only reason the he calls you by his ex's name is because they sound similar and he is male. Males are known for their slip ups
Ooh... I would hate that too. . If he doesn't show any signs that he still thinks or talks about his Ex then you have nothing to worry about.
Like what the others said. It was probably just a slip up so don't worry. Especially if your names sound the same, pretty similar. Just hassle him about it. . Not to much but.
He doesn't mean anything by it, it's a simple slip of the tongue. If he does this less than once per month, especially considering how similar your names are, he's doing GREAT!! Try to ignore it. Hey, lots of times my kids call me "Daddy" by mistake - and I am their Mommy!
Better yet, let's all agree to call our SO "darling".
__________________ Heavily medicated for your safety.
Well, I don't know if you have ever watched Dr. Phil, or heard his show, but he addressed this topic once.
What he said was that even though he may call you by his ex's name it doesn't mean he still loves her, or desires to be back with her. Just that the feelings of love and affection that he has for you, he once had for her. Understandable, or they wouldn't have been together in the first place.
Also, you do have very similar names and that is definately making the situation worse for him. Not because he can't remember your name, but because the brain sometimes goes on auto-pilot. If everything else in your relationship is great....then I wouldn't be worried or concerned about it.
When he calls you by the wrong name, just laugh and gently remind him. If you are too hard on him he will get defensive about it. Look at it like when someone twitches before they fall asleep....not something people intend to do, but the brain takes over, and it happens anyway.
In the beginning, Id say around 5 months or so like you, my b/f called me by his ex's name a few times...but it was when we were fighting or when he was very irritated with something. So I just told myself she must have used to piss him off! I wouldnt worry at all if everything else seems fine! But if its going to keep bothering you inside, you have every right to ask him what he thinks the reason is for calling you by her name.
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"make the choice between yesterday and tomorrow, and stick with it!"
It is disturbing and almost eerie when you are called the ex's name. I tend to place a lot of value on what use to be called Freudian Slips. But, then I tend to overanalyse. I was able to get over it but only by talking to my fiance about how I felt, which I hated doing. Id would love to easily take the advice of some of the post which basically point to a 'get ova it' solution. I dont know about the meaning of it all, but I do know it felt as I said eerie and disturbing. I agree with some advice that if there are no other signs of him harking back to the memory of the ex then you can probably safely say that its all to do with his brain n speech functioning. Some ppl really do just faulter n make mistakes unintentionally when speaking. Hope you're feeling better about it all and things are going well for you both.
Just that the feelings of love and affection that he has for you, he once had for her. Understandable, or they wouldn't have been together in the first place.
i wouldnt even say it goes that far, i have done this a few times, id say out of habit, but a bf i had 10 years ago has a similar name to my current bf, and i have nearly said that old distant name a few times.
when ive done it in the past, the more i tried to stop doing it, the more 'slips' i made.
the more of a deal you make of it, the more likely he is to keep doing it. dont worry, it really doesnt mean anything at all.
I wouldn't worry, especially if he is able to not fall into this mistake again...
Same thing happened to my girlfriend a few months ago. That was a beautiful day, which would turn out to
be our first sexual relation that evening... and she suddenly called me using her ex-husband name.
It did feel strange, I didn't like it, of course... but I knew it didn't mean anything (she was used to that name for years, after all). As a joke, I made myself appear angry. I told her: "you take my car, give it to me later, I'm leaving in a taxi". She starting to apologize etc.... It never happened again.
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calls me by ex girlfriends name
It was a completely innocent slip, and meant nothing. He teased me about it, and I felt embarassed and apologised profusely. That's it. He's probably embarassed about it too, so he tries to make light of it. If there are no other signs, he is still hungup on the ex, I'd try not to pay it too much mind.
. If he doesn't show any signs that he still thinks or talks about his Ex then you have nothing to worry about.
. Not to much but.
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