[lapetitepolitique]

Hey, gang... I'm going crazy over this boy and I don't know where to turn.

I met this guy through this online thinger. I thought he was gorgeous and our interests matched up incredibly. I wrote him a little message asking if we could be friends. He said we absolutely could and I wrote him a long and silly e-mail almost immediately. He assured me it was well-received when I voiced my apprehensions about its length and subject matter and gave me his instant message ID and his number. I called him once, but he didn't pick up and I later found out he was performing that night. I didn't try again.

We both got caught up in our busy lives and didn't hear from each other until a few weeks later. I messaged him and he and I had a great conversation about an array of topics: politics, music, our respective artistic projects. We completely hit it off and I was very excited about talking to him more.

But we got mega-busy again for about a month and then last week, I saw that his band was playing a show two days later. I decided to check them out, since he and I still hadn't met face-to-face. So I finally got up the courage to talk to him and in an incredible twist, he beamed and immediately hugged me and we spent most of the night smiling, giggling, talking and!!! hugging. He kept grabbing and rubbing my arm whenever other guys came around and kept grinning at me in that 'this-is-too-good-to-be-true' way.

I begged him to call me and he said he would because we needed to talk and hang out more... but that was a week ago and I still haven't heard from him.

Should I just call him myself? I'm a little hesitant because I'd made all of the moves so far and at one point, I was afraid that I was trying way too hard and scaring him off... but that was before he basically mauled me all night. What is up with the mixed signals?!

[sportsloving]

Call him, he might just be so busy! I wish you the best!

[LILUIL]

It's comforting to find so many people on this site with similiar situations as mine.

I'm sitting here wondering if I should call my man or continue waiting for him to move or to let go.

Like you, I feel like I have been doing all the initiating too. Sucks doesn't it.

Guess if it's meant to be, there's no running away, if it's not meant to be, end of the day, you'll just break your own heart by trying to hard and getting your hopes too high.

Don't know bout you but I'm taking a chill pill and wait a bit to see what happens.

[Bobbie]

he maybe has other issues you don't know about, but guys in bands often lap up constant attention from women. It's a fact, put a guy, any guy, on a stage and his sex appeal goes up 100%!

I definitely wouldn't run after him, if there's no reciprocation what's the point?

[lapetitepolitique]

His band is a politically active anarchist human-rights feminist band.

If anyone's not lapping up the female attention, it's him.

That's part of why I was so drawn to him initially. Our politics are nearly perfectly aligned. He's a bit more into the animal liberation stuff than myself (I'm more of a flexitarian, he's a hardcore vegan), but as far as people go, we're right on point.

[meanttolive4ever]

my ex i think is sending mixed signals..like all the times that i see him he constantly tries to flirt with me...then say no that he wasnt ..wtf ever

[magda]

anarchist human-rights feminist

Maybe he's dating another girl - one who is less... desperate. The way you have it, he knows you'll be around whenever - maybe you've come on too strong. I think you should wait for him to initiate, definately. Even if you haven't been too desperate in his eyes, you could at least be a challenge. If you're hard to get you're easy to appreciate, ya know.

[meanttolive4ever]

hmm

[lapetitepolitique]

Originally posted by magda

Maybe he's dating another girl - one who is less... desperate. The way you have it, he knows you'll be around whenever - maybe you've come on too strong. I think you should wait for him to initiate, definately. Even if you haven't been too desperate in his eyes, you could at least be a challenge. If you're hard to get you're easy to appreciate, ya know.

I'm not sure he got any romantic impressions before we met face to face. If anything, I've not come on strong enough. I've got the total self-assured look down pat, and I've had a majority of guys I've wanted tell me that they had no clue I was interested because I've got a total poker face.

I was fully expecting him to treat me with a certain dismissiveness once I saw him, but the exact opposite happened; even to the point of him following me around the club (thinking I didn't notice him - I was on the phone most of the night and probably looked absorbed to everyone else).

I'm really mad that I couldn't hang out with him at the end of the night - he asked me if I wanted to come to a bar with him and some friends, but I had to ready myself for a trip home a few hours later and so we spent some time talking afterward. He kept initiating cuddle sessions, so I figured he wasn't too burnt by my declining his invitation. The theory of the day is that maybe that wasn't the case.

Hmm.

I don't know; perhaps you're right. I doubt it because I'm a really low-key person (despite the impression I've thus far given), but at this rate, I'll take any answers I can get.

I still haven't called him. We might bump into each other at an event on Thursday... Maybe I'll hear from him by then.

[reasontosigh]

Maybe waiting till Thursday is the best bet - after all, it could just be that he's busy again right now!

[meanttolive4ever]

just wait til then to talk to him..