[gfly]

hey
I have not used this before so bear with me.

My girlfriend and I have been broken up for a full year now. Our relationship was great, it felt absolutely perfect. Then we went off to college which meant long distance relationship. Our first semester away from each other was not easy and we both were struggling with the distance. I broke up with her as soon as I got back from college over winter break of last year. By the middle of break we were dating again. A couple months go by and I broke up with her again. Both times I broke up with her it was because I had doubts about if we were holding onto something that distance and growing up in college will destroy anyways. I felt I was being immature and stupid to think that we were in love.--I sometimes feel I was immature to break up with her because of that.--- Some of my family members thought I did the right thing(I used to feel that my relatives new what's best for me). My best friend who I've known and practically lived with for most of my life thought I was being dumb for breaking up with her. Well a year has gone by and my ex and I have talked here and there. She's had a boyfriend for the past seven months and I think she does not love him. Her and I email each other from time to time and recently she told me how she felt and it was clearly she still cared for me and loved me, but mentioned she didn't want to be hurt by me a third time and mentioned she promised herself she wouldn't. I emailed her in response and opened up about how I felt. I mentioned that I still have strong feelings for her and I know I was happiest when I was with her. But then I backed off and told her that I am glad that we were still friends through all our hard times. On top of it all I am going to be going to school near her next year and I want to hang out with her.

I don't know what to do! I don't want to hurt her again, but i still feel something for her.



When or How do I know if I just miss her or if I I really do care about her and really want to be with her?
Also when do I say to myself "forget about what my relatives think"? Please help?

[bluechocolate]

You dumped this girl twice and she is still talking to you?

...but mentioned she didn't want to be hurt by me a third time and mentioned she promised herself she wouldn't.

good for her

When or How do I know if I just miss her or if I I really do care about her and really want to be with her?

Given your history with this girl, in my opinion it is doubtful that you ever did really care for her in the first place.

.....when do I say to myself "forget about what my relatives think"?

You're an adult aren't you? You need to make your own decisions regardless of what your relatives think. That is not to say that you can't take their opinions on board, but surely you're not trying to say that you dumped this girl - after you left home and went to college - because of what your relatives think?


Sorry to be so harsh mate, but to dump someone once and realise you made a mistake - fine. To dump her again and then try to get back a second time?! Who wants a yo-yo for a boyfriend? If she's still talking to you, even just as friends, then either you're damn lucky or she's a fool.

On top of it all I am going to be going to school near her next year and I want to hang out with her.

Find some other friends to hang with, it sounds to me like you've strung this poor girl along enough already.