i just finished reading a book about men, written by three males( a lawyer, a doctor, and an accountant). i found the book quite interesting as they are trying to "answer" questions about male sexuality and monogamy.
here is my question... i'm wondering if the guys of Loveshack agree with this..
in the last section of the book, these guys shared six "ugly truths" about men.. one of them was this:
that men in a committed relationship tend to fantasize about other women even more. whether that be an actress or the waitress at the cafe.. his sexual attraction and desire for other women actually increases AS A RESULT of being committed to one woman.
do you guys agree with this?
curious and wondering..
I want to know too....BUT 3 men cannot generalize all men, that is just not possible. That would be like 3 women saying that all women...do this....I mean they cant even say that ALL women have periods....cause all women DO NOT!
you are correct.. it is those authors who said these things.. just a different book. anyway, what do you think of their "knowledge" of men's inner thoughts and whatnot?
I realize this is a 'female' opinion....but I do have LOTS of guys as friends. It's hard for a woman to judge the way a guy 'fantasizes' because she is putting in an emotional/intimacy aspect which most men who are fantasizing aren't addding into the equation.
I think women are much more threatened by the male 'fantasy' syndrome than they should be. This is why there is a misunderstanding of porn or nudie bars. HE is NOT making emotional attachments. It's just a sexual thought....outside of the 'relationship' box.
you are correct.. it is those authors who said these things.. just a different book. anyway, what do you think of their "knowledge" of men's inner thoughts and whatnot?
I've never read the book, it turned up on a Google search.
I think this notion of fantasy and commitment problems is adult in nature, and I'm not an adult. I think their analysis is too general to be of value, but again, I'm judging without reading the book nor experiencing adult commitment. My sexual fantasies are dependent on blood flow, not thoughts. I don't have to be thinking of a woman to touch myself, I can be thinking of a cactus or something, with the amount of adolescent hormones in my system constantly ANYTHING is sexy. In terms of seeing someone that looks sexually attractive, I have noticed that my pattern of attraction has completely conformed to the girl I Love, as in I'll look for things in girls that remind me of her.
Inner thoughts are a tough thing to consolidate 'knowledge' on. I think that it's a lot easier to write (and sell) a book based on selling something that women will go, "hmm... that's interesting, that was worth my money, I'm let in on this huge secret"--whereas a true canonical dissection of gender-specific thought would be both a long read, and hard to sell, because it would provide little specific value and either huge, pointless generalizations or tiny insignificant idiosyncrasies and exceptions.
might i just tell you how impressed i am by your intelligence and insight into things.. i have been reading many of your responses for the past few months, and always thought you were an adult. i'm completely astounded that you are not. but astounded in a good way. you are wise beyond your years.. i just don't see how you have so much insight into sexuality, life and love when you're so young.. are you sure you're not really a grown man? :P
stacy........Speaking for myself.....I believe that some guys do fantasize about other women in a "technicolor" sort of way when they are commited to a solitary woman. What I mean is......I might see a woman at a diner with gorgeous boobs, so my girl might find my boob fetish with her to be really high for a brief time. The same thing with legs, hair, bellies and all the other assets. This may sound dishonest, but I don't explain to her what has escalated my focus, because it really is her that I want. Men are EXTREMELY visual. That is what feeds Penthouse, and porn and fashion etc. The big mistake is when dumbo comes home and tells you that his secretary's skirt gave him a bone that he expects you to take care of.
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my guess
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