Could be any number of reasons. Perhaps he wants to sell it for $$ or perhaps he just wants to be a pain in the butt. Let's just hope he doesn't plan to recycle it. =) Tacky.
Well, I hadn't even thought throughout this process about it much. But it is mine, it was given to me. I wouldn't wear it. And I agreed to give it back. I guess it just hurts that it would be a term of him signing.
It would just sit in a jewelry chest. But it does represent the last eight years of my life. I guess my feelings were just hurt.
I'm sorry you're hurt by it, and I think it's very tacky of him to ask for it. It's one thing to ask for the ring back when you never make it down the aisle and quite another to ask for it after you've been married and are getting a divorce.
..wait, maybe I have too much estrogen! I had a similar situation with my divorce. She had a large-ish ring that I gave her and many friends (and even her own mother and sister) have offered to "steal" it back and have asked why I did not insist on it being given back. Personally, I feel that it was a gift. I did not give back the watch that she gave me, nor did I reclaim the lingerie and other gifts that I bought her. Marraige or not, a gift is a gift is a gift. Now, had she offered to give it back, I would have accepted it and pawned it or had it remade into something else, but she did not so that is the end of the story! My vote is that the guy is classless
Location: where Eagles fly...maybe....still too soon to tell
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Sounds to me like his bookie is putting pressure on him to pay up.
Congratulations on being (soon to be) free of this asswipe.
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Originally posted by Dave1234, joy of joys and greatest LoveShack love toy.
I, Dave, hath chosen to also photo with long lense which protrudes from my camera of life force and shows falic symbol erected in direction of assembled love mass. .... but telephoto lense being hard and erect will attract many horny love-sturved babes to my shift before deadline and I will go into press room behind ink barrel to press lense into soft, velvet case and make love froever more. .....
Well, let me see... if he had a "condition" to signing the papers, I'm assuming that that meant that you wanted the divorce more than he did? And.. the engagement ring being an official token of the relationship you want to officially end.. it makes a lot of sense why he would do that.
He could be posturing himself as a victim. By using a condition in order to sign the paper, it can be assumed that he would not sign the paper if you did not give back the ring; he would prevent the divorce from taking place - at least for awhile. Victim. Because he was willing to prevent the divorce, it might feel to him that this in some way proves that the divorce was your fault: Once you give up the ring, he is obligated to sign because of that condition. So it could give him a little jolly that way if he's that type.
It can also be simply a vindictive way to make you suffer - or a combination of both. I mean, how nasty is your divorce?
An engagement ring is usually considered the legal property of the person who bought it when a couple fails to marry (if they both want it, obviously). Many courts consider engagements a contract of sorts. It represents that you will be together. It's a symbol that you will vow to stay together. If you're not together, it represents a failed marraige, broken promise... and if you got sick of that reminder, or got in a better relationship, you wouldn't want the thing around anymore, you'd probably sell it eventually. Let him sell it. I dunno, the more I think about, the more it seems legit that you should give it back. He wants it & he paid for it; he gave it to you because you were going to marry him and now you want to divorce him... so give it back.
Last edited by magda; 8th April 2004 at 10:50 PM..
The divorce is not a nasty one, I gave him everything. All of the furniture, the boat, the motorcycle, the equity in our home.
I filed for divorce, and no he didn't want it, at least he verbalized he didn't want it - but it wasn't visible by his actions for the last five years.
I know that legally the ring is mine and I didn't have to give it back (I already have), and I could have said no. We could have went back and forth and I could have paid an attorney to tell me what I already know anyway. The marriage is over, to hell with it - take the ring. Recycle it, choke on it, sell it - whatever.
It was just a shock when I received the call from the attorney.
And as far as conditions for signing - he would have just dragged it out a little longer and I am trying to get myself back together emotionally so it didn't seem worth it to me.
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