Cheating, Flirting, and JealousyBeing unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.
So what exactly defines or constitutes 'harmless' flirtation for you? (I understand that this is subject to individual interpretation).
Where do you drawl the line between appropriate and inappropriate flirting?
And if you have spouses or partners, would you feel comfortable knowing that they were flirting in the same way, or perhaps were on the receiving end of the same kind of playful attention from another woman? Would you also feel comfortable if you SO witnessed your harmless flirting?
Last but not least: Have you ever been in a situation where the person you were flirting with misinterpreted the mixed signals and actually took you serious? If so, how on earth did you handle it?
Emotional affairs are cheating. In fact even worse than just a physical one. Taking you have for someone within your heart and giving it to someone else is the worst of betrayals.
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Where do you drawl the line between appropriate and inappropriate flirting?
When you do something that you know would hurt your mate, or something you do that you wouldn't want done to yourself by your mate.
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And if you have spouses or partners, would you feel comfortable knowing that they were flirting in the same way, or perhaps were on the receiving end of the same kind of playful attention from another woman? Would you also feel comfortable if you SO witnessed your harmless flirting?
You'll get different answers, because each person is different. This is a question for your SO to answer. If my fiancee would be flirting with other men, I wouldn't stay. I don't share my heart and I don't compete for love. I'm sure most others feel the same.
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Last but not least: Have you ever been in a situation where the person you were flirting with misinterpreted the mixed signals and actually took you serious? If so, how on earth did you handle it?
Happens all the time, and it did for me. I was single when this happened. Just being nice to a person who's been depraved of affection and love for years can be enough to have that person really fall for you.
I do think this varies for everyone. My definition, I suppose, is that there should be no intent to take it further. It's just done for the pleasure it brings both parties - feeling appreciated, attractive etc. Of course, the dangerous bit is that you can't really control the other party's response. So you need to be selective.
In a lifetime of flirting, I only had one sticky situation (no pun intended!). I ran away. Quickly. The lessons were learnt. It's never repeated itself.
My husband wouldn't care about what I do - he's seen me in action. Actually, he's just as bad. Neither of us has a problem with it. We trust each other completely.
My questions were originally posted as a response to another thread that caught my interest where you and another female poster were discussing the difference between 'harmless' flirting and emotional infidelity. I suppose I had asked so many questions that one of our mods decided it warranted it's own thread.
I had given up, thinking it would now be hopelessly lost in LS abyss forever, but I’m so glad you found it and replied!
The reason I was curious is because I have several female friends who are overtly flirtatious when not in the presence of their SO. But they severely modify their behavior when in the company of their partners. I also know for a fact, that on the rare occasions when they have caught their husbands doing the same thing, they were not so inclined to consider it as innocent as they were when defending their own behavior.
The proverbial ‘double standards,’ I suppose.
I think if two partner’s (like you and your husband) are both aware and accepting of each other’s flirting, than you are not in danger of crossing that relationship boundary which defines ‘infidelity.’ However, if someone behaves differently when they are away from their partner than they do while in their presence. . .than that behavior really isn’t as ‘harmless’ as they would like others to think.
PS…I must say, that I’m certainly not as ‘secure’ with my relationship as some of you other ladies are out there! The LAST thing I want to see is ‘my partner in action’…unless, of course, its with ME!!
Appropiate Flirting: Smooth Body Language (sitting close to each other, smiling from across the room, winking, etc.)
Nice Compliments
Inappropiate Flirting: Touching and Grabbing, especially in appropiate places (thats harassment)
Nasty Compliments
Some girls feel really uncomfortable when guys flirt by using contact. I feel uncomfortable if I dont know the guy and he puts his arm around me....gross!
I think its natural for someone to flirt less when they are with their significant other, in fact i would consider it pretty rude to do it in front of my gf or if she did it in front of me. But when we're apart I dont mind as much cuz its fun to do, and I was a waiter last summer and did it a lot with the girls that worked there, even if it was just to make work a little more interesting. Like one post said, if its with the intention of hooking up thats different. I think it has a lot to do with trust. Ive been fortunate enough to completely trust my two more serious gf's. But if I was with someone who had cheated on me I wouldnt feel comfortable with them flirting (I wouldnt even stay with them but some people do).
But i dont think that flirting more when ur not with ur partner really means much, honestly i dont really feel the need to flirt with other girls if im with my gf.
btw...how do u put those quote boxes in the relies??
I think its natural for someone to flirt less when they are with their significant other, in fact i would consider it pretty rude to do it in front of my gf or if she did it in front of me. But when we're apart I dont mind as much cuz its fun to do, and I was a waiter last summer and did it a lot with the girls that worked there, even if it was just to make work a little more interesting. Like one post said, if its with the intention of hooking up thats different. I think it has a lot to do with trust. Ive been fortunate enough to completely trust my two more serious gf's. But if I was with someone who had cheated on me I wouldnt feel comfortable with them flirting (I wouldnt even stay with them but some people do).
But i dont think that flirting more when ur not with ur partner really means much, honestly i dont really feel the need to flirt with other girls if im with my gf.
btw...how do u put those quote boxes in the replies??
The way I see it, I wouldn't do anything I wouldn't want my boyfriend doing when I'm not around!
Don't get me wrong... if you don't look someone's way once in a while or give a smile from a distance, then you probably don't have a pulse!! Everyone is different, but for me anyway, I would never all-out flirt with other guys. I'd rather flirt with my boyfriend - I can actually pursue something more with him! Heeheehee
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