[Karlise]

I just want to mention that's exactly what my parents did.

They were very unhappy for about 20 years' worth of their 31-year marriage.

The finally split up when the fourth child (my brother) completed college.

So this is what I remember about my parents' marriage and this was the relationship that I modelled my own relationships on for years:


distance
lack of communication
depression
fury
sarcasm
huge, sudden blowouts
tense holidays
emotional neglect
infidelity
waffling & confusion
instability
irresponsibility
self-absorption
outright misery


For anyone in a miserable marriage who is staying in it'for the kids' I would suggest you reconsider.

Yes, financial considerations can be quite serious. That said, most children can adapt to living a simpler lifestyle as opposed to dealing with miserable parents. Children tend to blame themselves for a parents' unhappiness or moodiness.

It took me years to learn that HEALTHY love does not hurt. That relationships with people CAN and SHOULD be satisfying.

Please do not do it 'for the kids'. You are not doing them any favors.