[pinkroses]

My ex husband remarried last October and his new wife plays a very active role with our 9 year-old son. Because my ex has him most week days during the school year, she is involved in picking him up from school a lot, etc. I recently caught on to what was going on and brought this up with my ex, that when I am off work in time and available, I'd like to be the one to pick our son up from school, start him on his homework and see him. Then he can get him from me when he gets off work. Instead, my son has been at their house, being basically "raised" by the stepmother during that time when my ex husband is still at work, and while I'm home too, just a couple of blocks away from the school. She's playing the role that I feel I should be. As a custodial parent, I feel like I have rights over a step-parent. Well, she found out what I said and now she's taking it like a personal attack and telling my ex husband that I am not welcome in "her" home. The only "in her home" I do is to step into the entryway when I'm picking up my son. What does she expect me to do, just give up all my rights and concern over my own child? There were no agreements made about her picking him up, it's just how she and my ex worked it out.

Any advice on how to handle this situation? I was hoping she'd be a sensible person who would be able to see things for how they were, but she is just turning into another version of my controlling, hypercritical ex mother in law, who is also still making my life miserable. That whole family acts like they own my son and they are unfair and cruel to me. If I don't submissively give them their way all the time, they turn it on me to make me into some evil troublemaker. I'm on my own fighting this battle, have been all my son's life. My little boy has always prefered me and has come to deeply resent his dad, and doesn't like his stepmother at all. I worry about him in all of this.