[Karlise]

Hi

My BF of 3 years is very unhappy at his present job. His supervisor is a jerk, he doesn't get the pay or recognition he's due and he feels like he's wasted his time spending all that time and energy and money getting a masters'.

I've tried to be very supportive. I don't care what he does for a living and if he needs a break and wants to take a lower paying job or something less stressful, I'm fine with it!

We've talked about this issue numerous times. It's stressful to be around him when he's in a bad mood. He goes inside himself, doesn't talk to me, yells at the dogs, just permeates the house with his bad mood.

Since I moved in with him 2 years ago I don't think he's ever been happy at his place of employment. That means I'm subjected to a LOT of grumpiness and moodiness. I UNDERSTAND that he's frustrated but you have to do what you can to get through!

I had a job I hated and I did what I needed to do: I sent out tons of resumes, went on tons of interviews, posted my resume wherever I could, told everyone I knew I was looking for a new job, etc. It took me about a year to find something new and at times I did too feel very down, but I dont' act like he does when he's upset.

He is MISERABLE.

He's mopey and moody and depressed and doesn't seem to take joy in anything. I even asked him if he thinks he's clinically depressed....maybe he could use an antidepressant or counseling? He said he'd think about it.

For the time being, our sex life has really been affected. And I feel like I'M getting depressed because I'm around a depressed person a lot.

I know men really identify with their jobs.
But I don't know how to be helpful anymore....

Hi.

My bf was in the same situation before. He hated his old job so much, he almost complained everyday and had bad mood all the time. Sometimes, he just sat by the computer and looked for jobs without saying a single word; Sometimes he just laid in bed after work; sometimes he didn't want to say anything to me; sometimes he didn't even want to eat; sometimes he didn't want to have sex..... I was sad when i saw him so depressed. Eventually, he got another job which he likes much better and less streeful, although he's still moody from time to time, he is getting much better than before.

I understand how you feel, it sucks! BUt, I am his gf, I should understand him (even it is hard to do so sometimes). Is he looking for new jobs??? I know finding jobs are frustrated, but he needs to keep looking. My bf, spent more than a year to find his job that he really likes. You boyfriend does need some space and most of the time he might want to be alone. In my case, I tried not to bother him (although i think it wasn't bother him at all), cooked for him, gave him massage, tried to give him more quiet time, tried not to ask him about jobs....hope they help.

Good Luck.

[reasontosigh]

What is his Masters in, Karlise? And how long has he been at this job?

Could he possibly start a business for himself? Or perhaps get into consulting?

A lot of men do base their identites (at least in part) on their profession. A big problem arises when they feel they have not gotten to where they want to be at a certain age, or have not met a certain goal on their timeline. I suspect this might be what is happening here.