She has come to me in the past about having a 3 some with another woman. She is bi-curious but she also told me it would be a turn on to see me with another woman. Anyone have any idea why a commited partner would get turned on by this? I am curious about the 3 some thing as well, and I want her to explore her bi-curiousioness. I was afraid about the jealously issue so I went into detail about things I would do to her to see what kind of response I would get.
I'd ask her stuff like 'You won't mind me kissing her, going down on her', explicit stuff, you know. And she was fine with that. She's never had a 3 some or been with another woman. All she told me was that she loves & trusts me enough and doesn't see a problem with it. She wants to find a friend or make a friend to do this with. She also mentioned about surprising me one day, me coming home to find those two waiting for me. I was kinda stunned. But I did tell her I would want to know in advance, and who this chick is.
Has anyone here been in a 3 some? I told her that I don't want her doing this for me, but for herself. She agreed but also said she wants to please me as well. I then mentioned about her looking back on it after we do it and compare the way I did things with this other chick to her. She looked surprised and said that's never even came across her mind and she wouldnt think that.
She seems all for this. I never brought this up, she did. I'm just curious if any other women out there don't mind seeing their mate with another woman. She's not into the 3 some thing with men at all. She thinks that's kinda gross.
Location: Alberta (Born in the Hometwon of the Calgary Flames!!)
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ive never had a 3 some.... but know lots of people who have..... and ill tell you this much..... it ruined a lot of good relationships..... if your woman feels she needs to do it to "please you" my guess is something else is happening in her life that she feels is lacking with your relationship..... why on earth would a woman want to bring another woman into a relationship for casual sex especially to please thier mate.... i think your playing with fire.....
Location: the easter bunny has eggs! breathe in; breathe out. there is still wonder in the world :)
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o, man. i have nothing at all against threesomes, but i'm a little worried this is going to end up too dramatic and another distraction from your other problems and from your wedding.
i have to tell you i see this as an unwise move right now. often people go into threesomes not being able to foresee the consequences: and you can't take it back after. you can't take it back if she gets jealous afterwards, if she uses it as an excuse for other infidelities, or if it breaks up or changes your wedding status again. i'm not saying she will do any of those things, but these circumstances are a wild card. there is no telling what they will bring out of the most reasonable of people.
danger, will robinson. save this for your fifth year of marriage. this is not the right time, IMO.
Why? Nobody really knows why things turn people on. Apparently, there are a lot of men who enjoy seeing their wives with other men, too. Half a theory - that this person who can give others pleasure belongs to you is somehow a source of power and pride. But it could be any number of things.
However I concur with the others; people who think their fantasies will be fun in 3D don't necessarily think everything through; particularly how they will really feel. We tend to think we'll feel some way in a situation and often surprise ourselves. You both have plenty going on in your lives; it isn't time to add any more complications to the mix. IF you ever decide to try this, I agree that it should not be for quite a while, when your relationship is on a really strong foundation.
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I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness that I can show to my fellow creatures, let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.
A threesome could be a true test of the durability of your relationship and your lady's heterosexuality. Given your lady's "bicuriousness," a threesome might give both you and her a measure of the extent of her interest in other women.
I've been involved with bisexual women and have sometimes questioned their level of hetero commitment. In fact, this might be an eye opening experience for you, and a sexual awakening for your lady.
The fact that she wants to do this now is interesting. Why is she testing herself before marriage? Is she perhaps already bored with a strict hetero die?. The inferences one can draw from both her request, and the timing of the request, aren't good. BETTER TO FIND OUT, NOW, THAN AFTER NUPTIALS.
Go ahead and discuss this with your fiance as much as you want. No matter how well you think you are prepared something is going to happen. How bad that something will be I cannot say, but you may want to reconsider this.
I had a potential relationship and rather good friendship ruined by a threesome.
JMargel,
I know I've said it once before, but I'll say it again...and I don't mean this in an accusatory or judgmental or snide way, I mean it merely in an observational way.....just as someone who's read many of your posts.
There sure seems to be a LOT of issues in your relationship.........and considering you're both close to tying the knot, I find it all rather concerning.
Prior to this recent talk of the 3somes, had you envisioned your marriage to be one of total fidelity and monogamy? Because if she's asking for a 3some and is bi-curious, there's a very good chance that if she does this, and enjoys it, she will not want to stop...and are you willing to be married to someone whose needs can only be met, at least in some way, by having a 3rd person in your bed?
Lots of people are curious about things. Hell, I'm curious about what it would feel like to have a bag full of money in my possession, but I'm not about to go rob a bank to find out.
The fact that you've taken the time to post about this all, that says to me that her desire to do this isn't sitting well with you, and you have some concerns and reservations.
What if her curiousness doesn't stop at a MFF 3some? What if she wants to try a MMF? Where do you draw the line? What kind of expectations do YOU have for monogamy in a marriage?
I actually quit dating someone once who I really did like due to him constantly wanting me to bring in a girlfriend. I began to feel as though I just wasn't enough.....and apparently I was right! LOL!
I think it's fine if it's something BOTH people want.....but if someone has a hesitation.....I think they should refrain from engaging in it.
Personally, I wouldn't want to if I really loved one of the parners. I'm not into sharing.....
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