[moimeme]

Following on thoughts following from another thread:

And, so we don't get into lengthy semantic discussions, please define what you mean by 'respect'. To me, 'respect' has always had a nuance of admiration to it.

1. What does 'respect' mean to you?
2. How important is it to you to respect the person you love?
3. What causes you to lose respect for someone?
4. Can you love someone if you have lost respect for that person?
5. Can you stay 'in love' with someone if you have lost respect for that person?
6. If yes to either of the two questions above, does the love change? How?

[Papillon]

Respect and Love are inseperable. They are two sides of the same coin. But of course, it is possible to respect someone without loving them.

1. What does 'respect' mean to you?

It means understanding that person, and accepting them for who they are. Surely if you don't respect someone, you can't love them.

If I may coin a silly definition: "Love is passionate respect for another".

2. How important is it to you to respect the person you love?

It's tantamount, but because love cannot exist without respect, it's a moot point.

3. What causes you to lose respect for someone?

Well, there are a myriad of things. Dishonesty, for example. But you always have to temper that emotion of distrust. See point 1.

4. Can you love someone if you have lost respect for that person?

No.

5. Can you stay 'in love' with someone if you have lost respect for that person?

No... the erosion of respect leads to the collapse of love.

6. If yes to either of the two questions above, does the love change? How?

It collapses, but if the end result is not a feud, it might well be replaced by a simple fondness for the other person.

[white_angelbreath]

if the person lost respect for you as well as fallen out of love, how can you regain his trust, respect and love again?

i find it so hard and i don't know what to do to reconcile with someone who doesn't want to because he distrust me

[tattoomytoe]

Respect is .........a show of care or concern, acknowledgement, but at many different degrees.

if i do not respect someone, i would not want to love them, i would not even waste my time on someone i did not respect.

[Thinkalot]

You can respect someone without loving them. I dont think you can love someone without respecting them (unless it's a mum dad, child or something like that). It can be tough though, if you dont respect a parent. I respect both mine NOW.

[moimeme]

I'll tell you why I asked. I've got a theory that the loss of respect is the beginning of the end of love. For that to be true, people would have to need respect to be part of love. It's my own little straw poll to try to sort out this 'falling out of love' thing. I know it's got a lot to do with the chemistry and all, but I'm wondering what other factors may be at play.

[Thinkalot]

I'd say you are onto something. Respect can be lost in many ways too. When I thought my partner had lost respect for me because of something he found out about my past (some time back), I thought it would be over for sure, and also he felt he could not love me, if he could not regain respect. Turned out to be his issue and he sorted it out, and realised he still respects and loves me...but yep, it could have been a breaking point (I think I've shared the details with you before Merry).

I think you need to be able to admire the one you love, value their opinions and thoughts, and trust them. It's hard to do those things if you don't respect the person they are.

[white_angelbreath]

I kinda get this idea that if you are willing to give respect to other people or start respecting others (because that is the beginning of true love) you need first to respect yourself. There is no respect if you do not respect first yourself. Respect must first come within you so that you can respect other people. It's like you cannot give what you do not have.

It just popped up out of my mind today. Maybe there are some truth to this...