what matters to you more: career or personal relationships?
i realize that it's not necessary to make a choice of one or the other, but it seems it is necessary to put them in an order of priority ... what would yours be?
i think i'd put people who matter to me ahead of everything else; if i'm alone, i'll focus on my career and claim it's all that matters, but it'd be a cope-out.
A job's a job. Some people put too much focus on them. There's ALWAYS a job out there, somewhere, somehow, but finding the right person...that's a bit more of a challenge.
I have never had a craving for a career in particular. There never has been one single thing that drew me more than all others; for which I had a burning passion. So every time the decision had to be made between devoting time to people in my life or to career stuff, the people won out. I don't mean I didn't do the job well or that I was irresponsible in any way, but job/career has never been my sole or overriding focus.
I've known too many people to give their hearts and souls to some organization for years only to be laid off - and crushed - because the company needed to lay folks off. NO job will offer you loyalty or love or anything truly important; people will. Now, if you're the sort of person with a passion for architecture or nursing or one of the professions and that passion is one of your main motivations in life, maybe I can see devoting more of your energy to it, but still, in the end, it's people who matter.
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I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness that I can show to my fellow creatures, let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.
in fact, i think many of those insanely dedicated to their career draw inspiration from their personal lives - and it's like the chicken&egg question.
also, some others who're very dedicated are like i will be if i end up alone - just hiding their misery in it. yet others have intimacy issues and run from people by buring their heads in their jobs.
many of those insanely dedicated to their career draw inspiration from their personal lives
Nope. Actually, often they may have a form of OCD. I've met a couple top-end execs who have plenty of bucks and could retire in a minute and live happily forever and they still work their butts off. They don't gain any pleasure from what they've earned, really. They are DRIVEN to always compete more and win again. In fact, I read an interview in which the CEO of Viacom (HUMUNGO entertainment mega-organization) still lives in the same house, etc. All he wants to do is win. He said it in that many words. It has nothing to do with any sort of inspiration; it's a compulsion.
the type that i had in mind was people with an artistic vocation, i guess. that's interesting info about top-execs - must be scary to be compulsed to keep on competing and winning... holy.
I personally choose to put my loved ones above my job. However, jobs can make so much difference to the world outside of one's personal relationships. Many people draw a sense of self worth from the work that they do. While I'm a firm believer that you have to put a lot of time and effort into a relationship, I also believe that relationships should not be the only thing that matters in this world.
Last edited by peaches1234; 6th March 2004 at 2:41 PM.
Where is the breaking point between one who is considered DRIVEN and one who is considered putting his or her career first? Maybe I am to blame in my own relationships for not placing the proper balance between career and relationship.
I wind up doing rather well in all my endeavors in building the foundation for my career, but always wind up losing in the relatioship arena. I just cannot figure it out. I want to be there all the time for whoever I am in a relationship with, but at the same time have to deal with the responsibilities of being in school and working. I have been married twice now. I am not even 30. Both women took off on me for other men. I am not a bad looking guy from what I am told. I am two months away from graduating from graduate school. I am a very laid back, caring, loyal, ect... person. The main complaint from both women was that I was not around enough/as much as I should have been and that my number one priority was not them - instead was school or career. That was not how it was at all either. I guess I have so much to learn after all. Now that I think about it, I have no idea what I'm talking about.
i've spoken to a graduate student i know about this. he said he tried dating non-career-oriented ppl and it just wouldn't work precisely for that reason - they felt he wasn't around enough and that he was too into his studies. now he's married to another career-oriented girl, and they get along very well - both busy with their work and spending time together inbetween.
i'd say relationships are more important to me than work.
Yes we all need to eat, and pay our bills....if we dont work how will we survive?
but there are tons of jobs out there, if you lose one you can always look elsewhere.
but family and friendships and loved ones, these take time to build.
family if of all else highest priority. you can always make new friends.
but i'd say all in all, you need to find a balance between work & relationships.
one wont really work w/o the other
we are human, we still need human contact. no one wants to be alone right?
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You need an education and a career to have a healthy relationship.But thats my opinion otheres may vary... 
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