[justagirl]

Hi to all,

I don't want this to get long and boring, so I will try to jump right in and get to the point. I met my husband in Sept of 2000, and married him three months later. I was not pregnant, we just knew. I was really 'sick' at the time, as I suffer from depression. I knew I loved him, and that it would work out, but three years into our marriage I question myself. Family members and friends were leary of our marriage in the beginning, but when we celebrated our second anniversary we eased all their fears. Until our second anniversary I worked very hard at being a good wife and invested all of myself into our marriage. Once everyone let go of their fears about our marriage, I started drifting emotionally and he did sexually.

This past year has been tough, the intimacy level isn't there. We make love maybe once every other month, and my body yearns for more. So, this didn't really bother me until I heard that my first love was getting married this month. I have started dreaming about him, wondering about his wife to be - wondering if she is prettier than I, if their life together is better than my life with my husband. I have dreams of my first love coming to me the day before the wedding and saying, "I have always loved you, and I really wish you hadn't married your husband."

I'm only 27, we have no children, and I'm still very attractive. I ask myself, is my ex getting married causing all these weird dreams/thoughts because I want out of my marriage? I love my husband, and couldn't imagine a life without him, but what is going on here? Why am I crying over someone I haven't been with since 98??????

Help please....

[moimeme]

You long for the connection that's missing now. There are lots of resources to help people reconnect. One very popular one is the <removed> website. There is a ton of free information about reconnecting with your partner. <URL removed>

[justagirl]

Which connection am I missing? I know you are referring to the one with my husband, but I'm also missing the connection to my ex. We were very good friends until after my wedding reception. I tried to call a few times, but he rarely seemed interested in talking. I have wanted to continue our friendship, and my husband supports that, but.....oh geez, am I just a crazy 27 year old gal who married too young?

[moimeme]

No but longing for a now-married ex is the wrong way to go. Drop your thoughts about him and wishes to be 'friends' because you're already thinking 'more than friends' thoughts and focus on reconnecting with your spouse. Anything else would be foolhardy.