[garagegal]

Hello people, my question is, is it possible for someone to treat someone else with respect, AFTER treating them badly for a long time.

I was so good to my ex, stuck by him through so much, yet the only thing he seems to do is use me, cos he thinks ill always be there.

Would taking him out of life actually make any difference. We have known each other for 4 years and went out for 2y. He has a baby with his ex, which is why were not together, i have also had an abortion. Is it because im still in his life, after everything thats happened, that he cant respect me. He sais he wants to, but hes behaviour is not wot it should be.

Is there any hope? should i just resign myself to the fact that i was too soft and nice, and being there for him only made it worse.
If anyone should be a bitch its me. He ****ted on me. any advice would be great.

Unrespected ex

[Misty2004]

Hi garageGal,

"Would taking him out of life actually make any difference."

Well it would make a difference to you. It's not nice to have someone you care about treat you that way.
It' hard to let someone go, but what are you getting out of having him in your life? The hope that he'll change, start to treat you with respect.

Think how much happier and at peace you will be.

I was in a similiar situation. He kept on saying that he wanted to treat me properly. It did my head in, trying to figure out why then he didn't. holding onto the hope when even time he'd hurt me, i'd believe him again, because I loved him and I wanted what he said to be true.

And then it stuck me. he was treating me badly because of his hang-ups. There was absolutely nothing I could do to change that. It was up to him to face his hangups and until he did that he would always treat me like that.

It was so painful. i'm not going to pretend that it wasn't. To accept that someone that claimed to love you, wasn't the person you thought they where. to accept that this might be the person they always will be.

A month later, and it does get easier.

It did for me.
It didn't make a difference to how he would treat me. He still has he's hang-ups. If I was in my life, he would treat me the same. But the difference is that I don't have someone in my life that treats me that way. It's freeing

Do what is right for you
If he is gonna treat you properly, he's gonna have to face his problems, with or without you in his life.

[SoleMate]

I think you need your OWN self-respect way more than you need respect from him. You also have control over your own feelings. I know a good man is hard to find, but London is a big city and I am sure there is someone who will love you and not use you. If you're broken up now, good for you! You're free. Learn to love yourself and it will be natural to insist on respect from your partner.

[Arabess]

I wouldn't stay with ANY man who openly said he didn't respect me....regardless of how I felt about him.

[spencer]

Can i ever get the respect back?


NO, you never had it in the first place

[morrigan]

He doesn't seem to give anyone respect. Is this a**hole worth your time? You need to respect yourself and see that you were a supportive person involved with a unrespectful, unreciprocal individual. Keep him out of your life permanently.