[tearsrfalling]

Hi, I really don't know who too ask all of my friends are telling me different things. I am miserable right now and I have not been able to sleep, eat or work at work for over a month.

January 15th My bofriend of almost 2 years broke up with me. He said that he doesn't want to do this anymore. He doesn't want to be involved anymore. He said he loves me but not enough to try again. Let me give you a little more history for the past couple of months we have not been happy, a few things happened. Mainly I took him for granted, I didn't realixe it until he broke up with me. He told me tings like me expecting him to pick me up from the airport (becasue I travel alot for work) is to much. I expected him not to go to a once a year car show that he goes to every year to go to a baseball game with me was to much. Also a few months ago his car was being fixed and I told him if he loved me he would figure out a way to get to see me. I had a car, why didn't i go get him. What was wrong with me? Now I can see that sometimes i expected to much, we talked about this previously I told him we will work on it I never did. So getting back to January he broke up with me and told me what i said above, I was devasted. I wrote him love letters, I made him a photo album of us, I called him, I emailed him. I even called him and told him if I could see him on Valentines day, he said yes I though that was my big chance when I got to his house we talked in the kitchen and then I started crying and almost at the point of begging for a second chance. He stood his ground being stubborn as he is and said it's been over for a month and he said he still feels the same way. He gave me a hug, it seemed like forever I kissed him on the check and left. I have emailed since basically hello how is your day, so on. He will email me back if it's not personal. On Saturday 2/21/04 I went to Blockbuster, we went there every weekend. I broke down, I saw couples there just like we used to and I left and drove to his house 30 minutes away. He was not home, I left him a note another love, sorry, I miss you, I miss us letter. On Sunday I emailed him and asked him if he got the letter no reponse. Monday I came to work started looking at websites, I found a few things. I read that in order to get him back or to move on, I must have no contact all. I must act as if I have fallen off the face of the earth. I am now in day 2 and in 35 minutes it will be day 3 of that and it seems so long. Is there anything I can do to get him back or do I just sit and wait. How can I go on. I know he is the one for me, I know I love him with all my heart and soul. I know he loves me, what do I do. 1 hour seems like a week.
I just turned 34 and he is turning 30 in a few months. At the begining of the relationship we discussed our age difference, 4 years and we both knew it didn't matter. About a month ago he mentioned to me that he was not where he wanted to be turning 30. He is unhappy that he still lives basically at home even though it's a separate apt from his parents and he is not happy at his job. I don't know if that has any significance but I figured I would tell you.
What can I do to get him back? I know try to keep myself busy, how is that done? I miss him so much I just want to call him right now
What do I do??? I know him he is such an emotional person how is he dealing with this so easily.
Gina