I have been seeing this guy for about 3 months. I know he cares for me, but I feel like he doesn't appreciate me at all sometimes. He never takes me out to dinner, buys me presents, or really goes out of his way for me. He calls and can be very sweet, but then I see all of my friends being treated like princesses and I'm stuck with this guy who treats me like a friend.

Do you think I am expecting too much? I would feel stupid saying, 'I want to be spoilt!'. We know how we feel about each other, I think he would just think I was being silly and insecure. Maybe I am, I don't know. It's just disheartening to love someone who wouldn't even think to send me flowers.

[carla]

3 months is still a new relationship and you didn't really mention how committed this relationship is. Do you see each other every day, once a week? If you only see each other once in a while maybe to him your someone he dates occassionally. If you see each other all of the time, well maybe he is just one of thoses guys that has a hard time expressing himself. Unforuntatly for us women some guys just are not in tune to pampering and romance. Is he a mans man? What I mean by this is always with is buddys watching sports and fixing cars drinking beer. (bad example but you get what I mean) Some guys just don't know what women want or need. It kinda goes with looking at the map once your lost, or reading the instructions once the things is together all wrong. (I'm tring not to male bash here, these are just examples) But anyways try talking to him he will never know what you want or need if you don't tell him, besides communication is the key to a good relationship.

[faux]

To illustrate a point I am going to talk about myself:

I've cared very much for some of the girls I have dated before. I'd be there for them emotionally. I'd spend time with them, try to share their interests, and have interesting conversations with them. I would compliment them always, and try to make them feel loved, wanted, and beautiful.

I have, however, hardly ever bought any of them anything. I think I have bought two people flowers since I started dating at 15. I've maybe paid for a movie three or four times, on account that I don't like movies much until I'm dragged out to go see them, and most of my dates preferred to pay for their own ticket (I'd pay for mine). Dinner? A handful of times. The most extravagent thing I did was save up $200.00 for a cheap diamond ring for someone I really cared about. It wasn't for an engagement... Just that she made me feel really special and I wanted to do that for her.

See for me, if I go out of my way to get a present for someone that's really saying something. And I make it a really nice gift. I usually draw, write poems, letters, or make little artsy things for them.

I express my fondness for someone with words. I love to write poetry, and to spend time with them as well. When it comes to material things I rarely buy them for other people. This doesn't mean that I don't care however. If someone really expressed that it was important to be treated this way I would be sure to try to get them something once in a while.

I don't like having things bought for me, and I don't show how I care by buying things for others. To me spending time and having wonderful conversation with someone is more than enough.

Not everyone feels that way however. Maybe your boyfriend doesn't show his love that way. It doesn't mean he doesn't care as much, or more than anyone else. Let him know it's important for you to receive special treatment like that once in a while. I'm sure he'll try his best, but he isn't going to do it all the time -- He just doesn't show is affection that way!

I saw it posted on here before that individuals show and want to receive affection in different ways. Learning how your boyfriend tries to show his love for you may ease some of your fears.

And as to your seeming spoiled question... If I were your boyfriend, and you told me those things were important I'd do my best to treat you once in a while. But I'd think you to be a bit selfish if you placed more importance on that sort of thing than quality time, my compliments, and my support for you otherwise.

Hopefully you two can come to a happy medium. But please don't overlook the ways in which he shows he cares about you! If he's like me, and you really wow him, he might go get you a present.

[spencer]

Originally posted by faux
To illustrate a point I am going to talk about myself:
I express my fondness for someone with words. I love to write poetry, and to spend time with them as well. When it comes to material things I rarely buy them for other people. This doesn't mean that I don't care however. If someone really expressed that it was important to be treated this way I would be sure to try to get them something once in a while.

All of my friends, including myself, would love a poem over a store bought gift anyday.

Faux, care to share one of yours? huh please...pretty please...with sugar on top.