I want to marry my bf, we have never talked about it seriously, but somehow he told me indirectly that his friends and people around him got divorced eventually. He is kind of worry (maybe?) that he would be one of them???? I have asked him before if that affects him, and he said yes.
What do you think about that?

[Thinkalot]

I think it's a natural fear, but one which should not hold a person back from taking a risk, and leaping forth into a loving marriage. I've had those fears too, but I still know I want to marry...you can beat the statistics if you work at it!

[Darkangelism]

Its possible that he was affected by that, im pretty sure that he will come around and marry u if he loves you and everything goes well.

[dyermaker]

does high divorce rate change your attitude of marriage

No.

[Tony T]

You don't stop eating because people you know have gotten indigestion from doing so.

You don't stop driving because you've read about people being in terrible accidents.

You don't stop walking because others have been killed by out of control automobiles.

You don't stop going to the movies because you see a dud or two.

You don't stop going to the beach because some girl up north got her arm bitten off by a shark.

etc. etc. etc.

Some people get divorced....some people kill their spouse....some people stay married but aren't happy...some people have affairs....but a lot of people are very happily married. It's not easy and it doesn't work on auto pilot. You have to find a partner who's going to work at it. And, all good things eventually come to an end...if not divorce, then the death of either.

[Thinkalot]

Well said Tony.

does high divorce rate change your attitude of marriage

Not in a negative way.

If anything, it makes me want to marry that much more... to work at it, and have something wonderful and rare. There was a good post floating around once upon a time... "Has marriage outlived its usefulness" or some such title. I found it very interesting. Search for it if you like.

-Deranged

[Silver]

I think Tony hit the nail on the head. Exactly.

There may be a higher divorce rate these days, but I still would like to get married one day. Marriage is like anything in life, you have to work at it to be successful and happy.

You have to be willing to take chances in life, because as I see it, there will be alot of regret if not and alot of "what if's" and "I wish I did".

[quankanne]

you canNOT judge the success of your relationship with a person based on what others around you have, simply because it's yours, not theirs.

my husband has been married before -- twice, in fact. However, I chose to see our marriage as something of quality that he didn't have with either of the other wives, something that has inspired (for lack of a better word) us to be married for as long as we have. I suppose I could get upset at being the third Mrs. Quank, but I chose to see it as me being the wife who made that kind of difference in his life.

you really can't predict the success of your relationship based on a bunch of statistics that focus on the failure of marriage; you've just got to put your all into it to make it work.

I think marriage is always changing, and will probably be very different for our kids, if it's still even around then. I'm always surprised when people around me who are in their 20s get married. I think that marriage is good if both of the people in it want to be married for the "right" reasons-i.e. they've discussed what they want out of life, how many kids they'd like, parenting styles etc. I think a lot of marriages fail because of the variables around the marriage-like money issues, personality clashes, family interferance, incompatible values etc. For this reason I think most couples should get to know each other as well as possible, and live or/and travel together before tying the knot. Especially in our twenties, we continue to change and to get to know ourselves as individuals, I think getting married too young stifles or pushes aside that development until resentments resurface.