[sallyhurts]

Im(19) planning in the near future to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend(20) of 4 months.
I told him at the beginning of our relationship that I was opposed to giving oral.
I felt that I would feel demeaned by doing it. He said ok and that he respected me that I stuck to that, but he still would want to do it to me and recently he has and I enjoy it very much.
I give him hand jobs, but I still really want to please him.
I've been thinking lately that maybe I should just try to do oral on him, just to see if I would really feel demeaned or not. (most likely after if/when we start having sex, because I think I would feel more comfortable).

I was wondering would he think I am weak in my principles if I tell him I've changed them now?

I don't even think the issue of principles really applies here. And believe me, NO GUY ALIVE would ever think less of a woman who changed her mind and is now willing to try oral sex on him! LOL

[Darkangelism]

he wont care

[dyermaker]

i dont give head-want to try now- will he be dissapointed that i've changed?

*20 minutes later, stops laughing*

He's a sweet guy for pretending he EVER valued your principles. He'll be thrilled to see you've changed them.

Originally posted by dyermaker
*20 minutes later, stops laughing*

He's a sweet guy for pretending he EVER valued your principles. He'll be thrilled to see you've changed them.

you can't profess to know that her guy was only pretending to value her principles. you don't know what was in his heart or mind. there are actually are men out there who value and respect their woman's feelings and stances and values on things. are you trying to send the message that guys are just liars who pretend all the time?

[dyermaker]

Originally posted by fallenangel
you can't profess to know that her guy was only pretending to value her principles. you don't know what was in his heart or mind. there are actually are men out there who value and respect their woman's feelings and stances and values on things. are you trying to send the message that guys are just liars who pretend all the time?

You can't profess to know that her guy sincerely didn't want head. You don't know what's in the heart or mind of ANY man, just what comes out of his mouth. I'm a man who values and respects a woman's stance, feelings, and values; however, if I wanted oral sex, didn't get it based on her principles, I'd pretend to appreciate that, while being dissapointed--as would every man. If she changed her mind, I'd be ecstatic, as would every man.

There isn't a straight man on earth who would be dissapointed if their woman suddenly wanted to please them sexually. Don't try to pretend you're an expert, I have a penis, where's yours?

[UCFKevin]

What Dyer said.

What Kevin said.

Don't try to pretend you're an expert, I have a penis, where's yours?

fallen, I agree with dyermaker.

My penis is hiding, however I suspect it's the same as this:

If my boyfriend said he wasn't into giving me oral, I would truly respect that, but if he changed his mind OOOOOOH BABY BABY! Does that make me a "liar that pretends all the time"? I think not.

-Deranged

What, so there's only certain posts a woman can answer here, and express an opinion on, due to her lack of a penis? LOL

There's no doubt this guy was probably disappointed that his gal didn't want to give head.......but that doesn't automatically mean because he's a guy, and has a penis, that he was only PRETENDING to respect her feelings (feeling demeaned) on the matter. A guy can be disappointed about something while still respecting his female partner's beliefs. Just because you feel the way you do, I hope you don't think you can speak for every man on the planet. :-)

[dyermaker]

Originally posted by befuddled11
What, so there's only certain posts a woman can answer here, and express an opinion on, due to her lack of a penis? LOL

If you read back there, it wasn't that you expressed YOUR opinion, so much as you attacked mine.

A guy can be disappointed about something while still respecting his female partner's beliefs.

Depends on what you consider respect. Respect as in "accept"--uhh, yeah, some sex is better than no sex, but respect as in "appreciate"--the collective group of penises that make up the entire male population says "Fat chance!"

Originally posted by DerangedAngel

If my boyfriend said he wasn't into giving me oral, I would truly respect that, but if he changed his mind OOOOOOH BABY BABY! Does that make me a "liar that pretends all the time". I think not.

-Deranged

Deranged, you're not saying the same thing that Dyer was. You're saying that if your guy wouldn't give you oral, you would "truly respect that".......so that's a far cry from what Dyer is saying. Didn't he originally say that this original poster's boyfriend was only "pretending to value her principles"...........says who? Maybe he DID value her principles, and respect her feelings, though on the same hand was disappointed. Dyer was basically saying that he was only pretending to respect her, bottom line.

[dyermaker]

Nope, DA and I are on the same page. Honey, it's you.

Originally posted by dyermaker



Depends on what you consider respect. Respect as in "accept"--uhh, yeah, some sex is better than no sex, but respect as in "appreciate"--the collective group of penises that make up the entire male population says "Fat chance!"

So what this really boils down to, according to you, is the actual definition and meaning of the word respect.

And for the record, I wasn't attacking your opinion..I was just pointing out to you that you shouldn't project your feelings/opinion about someone onto someone else, or ALL men in general. Making sweeping, unsubstantiated generalizations about how a person or group of people feel, based solely on how YOU perceive things, or their having a particular body part (penis), well that just seems pretty lame and narrowminded. Oh well, you're entitled to feel how you feel. I've said my piece. Ciao!

I'm a man who values and respects a woman's stance, feelings, and values; however, if I wanted oral sex, didn't get it based on her principles, I'd pretend to appreciate that, while being dissapointed--as would every man.

Can you not respect someone's choices... and be disappointed by them in a way at the same time? I thought that was what he meant above.

Originally posted by DerangedAngel
Can you not respect someone's choices... and be disappointed by them in a way at the same time? I thought that was what he meant above.

This was the excerpt of his that I took issue with:

"He's a sweet guy for pretending he EVER valued your principles."

Being disappointed and "not ever valuing her principles" are 2 completely different issues.