My boyfriend is lying about a girlfriend he had at 16 and I don't know why.

SMHappyface · 24th January 2004, 11:23 AM

I had a recent fight with my boyfriend two days ago, and I want some advice. We've been together almost 7 months and have had the 'past relationships' disclosure several times, and I felt I knew about him and his exs. Let me insert a bit of background - I am a 21 yo virgin and I plan to stay that way until marriage. While my boyfriend totally respects that, he has had 4 sexual relationships.

That's not the problem. I was talking to him about his relationships two nights ago and found out that one of the four girls I had THOUGHT he had slept with he didn't and there was another girl that I had never heard about. I felt I had been lied to, but he denied that he had ever had a conversation where he would be lying not to mention her.

I was confused and asked why he hadn't told me and he then told me he didn't want to hurt my feelings because this girl had been a virgin and it was a bad experience. Now I was doubly upset because he had told me several times that he had never slept with a virgin and I felt insulted because he must feel I'm gunna be lousy in bed too someday.

I'm not sure what to make of this because my boyfriend is one of the most honest men that I have ever met. He's kind, caring and everything any girl would want in a relationship. His friends and family both know he won't lie for anything. Why with me? He's had two virgin girlfriends before me too and he told them. And this girlfriend I just found out about he hasn't contacted in 9 years. It doesn't make sense!

Vivid_29 · 24th January 2004, 11:40 AM

His friends and family both know he won't lie for anything.

ALL people lie. I think that he lied, because he didn't want to hurt your feelings, like you said. And just because, he had a lousy experience with a virgin, doesn't mean that he feels that it's gonna be lousy with you. You haven't even had sex with him or anybody and you are already jumping to conclusions.

Now I was doubly upset because he had told me several times that he had never slept with a virgin and I felt insulted because he must feel I'm gunna be lousy in bed too someday.

Honestly, I think that you are jealous because he had a virgin, before you came along.

~Vivid

clia · 24th January 2004, 1:05 PM

This is a prime example of why it is not smart to share detailed information about past relationships.

Why do people do this? Why? It's in the past. It's over. There's no need to share every detail.