In Search Of...Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.
Heres the skinny, I have been dating this girl for over 2 years and we are pretty serious. We get along great and just recently moved in together. We both new living together was something we wanted and gave it a shot. Everything is going great as far as sharing more items and most importantly are free time together.
My only problem is with the actual pictues of her ex boyfriends or just people she was sexual involved with. I told her that when I met her I got ride of pictures of all of my past sexual partners and ex girlfriend because I did not deem them important to me, plus I did not want to make her uncomfortable by knowing that I keep a 100 pictures of my old girlfriend.
However, she does keep pictures of her ex boyfriend and and random sexual partners and says she wants to keep them. I told her that it makes me uncomfortable and that I got ride of my pictures because i am devoted to her. She claims that she wants to keep these pictures because they remind her of good times. However, she broke off all of the relationships with these past men and still keeps their pictures.
Should this bother me and should I be seeing something here or am I just trying to read too much into a picture like I am at an art exhibit or something.
don't obsess over it and give her time. Soon enough, she'll probably place less and less importance on those photographs and eventually may just get rid of them because they don't mean anything to her.
however, if you bug her about it, she's going to want to hang on to them not because those people have meaning to her, but because you're demanding that she get rid of them.
__________________ Get out there and rub a little sunshine on your face. – gunny376
Stop dating her. find someone without 100 pictures of people they've been with. end it now before you get any more emotionally invested into the relationship. It's a lot easier to just find someone that you don't have these issues with. If she is attached to pictures or memmories of others, then so be it. You're not married so why stay in a relationship that does not completely make you happy. It only gets worse if you attempt to accept things that you really don't agree with. Why get any further into a relationship that already has issues. If it don't fit, don't force it. find a better size.
Because unhappiness is a vital and unavoidable component of the human experience? Because this is such a small, silly thing?
Because small silly things evolve into huge not so silly things.
Because unhappiness can be avoided if we pay attention to the signs we are presented with.
Because dropping the soap in the shower is a small silly thing...Unless your in jail.
Because small silly things evolve into huge not so silly things.
Through lack of communication they evolve, not through the simple small silly thing. It's ridiculous to leave a relationship because of one small issue, without making an effort to resolve the issue. You say that if a relationship doesn't make you 100% happy 100% of the time, then you should leave. Are you in a relationship?
both my exes had photos of their exes, 1st one kept a few in a box and showed me them, i didn't mind at all afterall they are memories for her, he even used to call her, i'd answer the phone and have a friendly small talk with him, a nice guy!
most recent ex had a picture of her , her ex on the wall, her brother and his girlfriend were in it also so i didn't mind... she didn't tell me who it was but i could work it out
i knew both of them wouldn't be going back you see
i wouldn't expect any girlfriend of mine to dispose of photos of past loved ones and i wouldn't dispose of mine!
i hate it when married people tear up their photos, i've seen it many times, it is so pathetic!
how can they be married 20 years , have a family, be in love then HATE each other!
Thank you all for your replies. As an update I think I will take the path I usually travel less and not mention it to her anymore. The good thing is we didn't even get into a yelling match over the "my" issue. : ) I actully just sat and realized how good she has been to me and that I need to not bug out so easily. You all have enlightened me with your comments and I appreciate each of your insights. I will voice my opinion for you all some time and hopefully it will be a while before "I" have any other emotional mind farts! Thanks
Because small silly things evolve into huge not so silly things.
Because unhappiness can be avoided if we pay attention to the signs we are presented with.
Because dropping the soap in the shower is a small silly thing...Unless your in jail.
Quote:
Originally posted by dyermaker
Through lack of communication they evolve, not through the simple small silly thing. It's ridiculous to leave a relationship because of one small issue, without making an effort to resolve the issue. You say that if a relationship doesn't make you 100% happy 100% of the time, then you should leave. Are you in a relationship?
Yep, but don't mind me i'm bitter. Who am I to think that before you end up marrying someone that you're not completely happy with, that you may want to reevaluate what's really important to you? If you don't like the pictures and she won't get rid of them, then why continue to push the issue? People are always willing to compromise their feelings when they are in love. The problem is after the honeymoon, the things you compromised on can come back to haunt you. It's like the women who find their boyfriends porno stash but are in love so they think oh its o.k. After they've been married for a few years it's not so o.k. anymore, and they end up on this site saying that it's ruining their marriages. Just my opinion. That's all.
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