[oceanluv]

i'm engaged to be married. i've been with the same fellow for the longest time --- close to 8 years. i've always thought that this is the man i want to spend the rest of my life with.... someone to have a family with..... until now. these past few months have been weird. i've been having doubts in my mind that maybe i'm just getting used to everything... maybe that i'm too lazy to look around. i've been friends with other guys, good friends too.... but now it's weird that i'm getting some thoughts that maybe i should be with a guy other than my fellow. when i do the "pros and cons" list of my fellow and the closest guy friend i have, my fellow beats him by a lot. so i should think that it's an easy answer to stay with my guy.... but then i get a thought that maybe i'm not giving the other guy a chance....
what is wrong with me???
could it be cold feet??? the deposit for the reception and ceremony place is due by end of this week, andi don't know what to do.....
should i just wait? i have to send out the "save the date" cards too. i hate feeling like this. i feel so guilty. what's wrong with me???
i NEVER thought i would feel this way. please help me.