[imjustagirl]

Saturday was the boyfriend's birthday and he said he wanted to spend it with me...long story short, I was stood up so he could go to supper with his friends from work and he said he'd come over around 8:30ish so we could spend the rest of the evening together. Well, he ended up going to "party" with his friends from work. I wasn't invited as he said that I don't like it when he drinks.

Sunday he says we need to "talk."

He comes over and says that he was mad at me for planning a nice birthday and he decided that he wanted to do something with his friends instead of me. He'd been telling me all week that he wanted to spend his "special" day/evening with me.

I told him I was mad that he never even bothered to call...which has been a recurrent issue since he decided in early November that he needed "space"...he still wanted to date, but sometimes he just wants to be alone.

So I explained that if he wanted this relationship to work, that he needed to respect me enough to give me a call saying, hey I know I planned to come over today, but I think I'm going to go hang out with Mike or whatever. Just a little respect.

He agreed that it was "awfuly mean" of him to stand me up like that.

Then he went on to say that he thinks we shouldn't have sex for at least a month or so. He's not sure why, he says it feels great, but it feels wrong.

Does this mean another breakup is iminent?

Any thoughts suggestions greatly appreciated.

~justa~

[DonTomaso]

Hi Justa... unfortunately, it does sound like a break-up is eminent.. if he is putting restrictions on sex, it is not a good sign.... I would give him his space and see what happens. Have a good time in the mean time.

[Vivid_29]

Oh dear, oh dear, this is not good and yes, these are bad signs. Sounds like he is selfish and inconsiderate and likes to play games.

How are you taking all of this?

[imjustagirl]

I'm actually taking it quite rough...surprising. I love him with all my heart...and I know that he loves me.

Just within the past couple months he's been acting weird....blaming it on schooling (physic's/math major).

I think I'm going to play this game for a little bit. I don't want to make an excuse for him, but he has been under a considerable amount of stress.

The thing I'm concerned about is not wanting to have sex with me anymore...it feels good, it just feels wrong.

We've been going out almost a year and have been having sex since week 2 (we jumped the gun).

Honestly...I'm scared. I love him sooo much. I don't know what to do. I don't want him to breakup with me, nor do I want to breakup with him. He says that he doesn't want to breakup with me, I just need to understand his need for space. He doesn't want to be married right now (reason for the breakup in October). We were really really close, he was practically living with me. I'm not sure if there's still some pressure coming from work/friends about the marriage thing that's freaking him out. I really don't know.

He said that he'd let me know what "feels" wrong about the whole sex thing when he figures it out. Just scares me a lot. He's still talking about the future with me..."babe, in a couple years, when things are still going strong, we'll take that next step." This is what he said to me on Sunday...why say this and less than 5 minutes later put the x-nay on sex?

~justa~