[yes]

i find that lately, i'm content for most of the time but there's a sense of discomfort about it ... it's as if my mind tries to seek out irritators to get to its usual downish state! sounds familiar, anybody?

it makes sense to an extent - it's easier to have smth negative to blame everything on, i guess. once you admit that YOU create whatever negativity there is, all you can do is suck it up and change your outlook - it's all in your own hands (how scary!). it adds an extra layer of freedom - you realize that none of your goals are archi-important, that it IS OK to just relax, do your thing, and enjoy life while it lasts.

just thinking out loud i guess ... think with me, or nevermind if you don't want to ...

-yes