[sean001]

I posted this on the friends and lovers forum but realized it is probably more appropriate here. I dated a woman for 2 years in a very awkward, yet close relationship (we called it a friendship). We were uncommitted, but she would often sleep over my house, occasionally we would sleep together, and the she was extremely kind and unconditionally caring.

In the beginning, I told her that I was not ready for a relationship and she was ok with that. However, about 6 months later, she told me she fell in love with me, but also around that same time I suffered a series of personal tragedies (sudden death of a friend and my father) and I was not ready for a commitment. I warned her that if she had strong feelings it might not be healthy for us to hang out.

Nevertheless, she stayed around and was fantastic. I certainly wanted her around and could not have imagined any other woman that could have been there for me. However, I often emphasized that I was heartbroken due to the losses I had suffered and I could not commit.

Eventually, she found out I was dating, got jealous, and one day got up and left. I was absolutely devastated and all the feelings I had suppressed for her came to the surface.

About a week later I went to her with the idea of trying a committed relationship. I told her how I felt and that I really wanted to work on something meaningful between us. She reluctantly agreed.

Unfortunately, from the moment she agreed, she has treated me like dirt. I made many steps to show my commitment, such as giving her the keys to my apartment, etc., yet she acts like she doesn't want me around.

She tells me that she was heartbroken by me before and that she is having a hard time falling in love again. She also seems to resent me for the time that she was there and I was not ready for a committed relationship. She says it was "so hard" for her to walk away and then I had to throw this "monkey wrench" into her plans. She also says that she feels like she got rejected so many times.

We've talked to death the issue, but I just don't know exactly what to do. I've tried being the nice guy by being there, calling her, stopping by her place, helping her with things, but it kills me inside every time I am with her because she is ice cold -- totally the opposite of the way she used to be.

I told myself that if things don't change by this weekend that I'm just going to have to sit down (again) and talk to her. I really don't know what this could accomplish, but I'm at a loss for what to do. Do I just back away and pray she misses me? Or do I continue to keep seeing her? Of course I am worried that if I back away she will think I am leaving and she will just move on. I truly love her and hope that things can work between us, but I'm almost convinced that it got "spoiled" by 2 years of uncommitted dating where she got hurt. Any advice?