[hideki]

I've been dating a girl over the internet for about half a year now. We've known eachother online for several years, and we care so much for eachother. We've never met in person, but we occasionally talk over the phone when we get the chance. We've shown eachother pictures of ourselves, as we both have cameras and such. The thing is, we won't be able to actually meet for quite some time, and I really would like for us to have a more intimate relationship.

I've wanted this for years, and I just don't think she feels the same way. I just want more intimacy in the relationship, such as her telling me more private things, or taking private pictures for me (if you catch my drift). Nothing degrading or whatever, just something sexy. I really don't think it's too much for me to ask of her. She says she totally trusts me, and we love eachother, so I don't think of it as too big of a deal. The problem is, I don't think she would be up for it, and I'm just afraid that since she won't even take pictures of herself anymore (you know, just pictures of her face to let me see her from time to time), that I am going to start losing interest.

The relationship isn't just physical attraction or anything, but I'm at that age when a guy thinks with his privates, and I'm deathly afraid that I might end up cheating on her or start flirting with other girls. The fact that we are far away from eachother, and that we won't be meeting for maybe another year even, it just kind of makes it hard. If the relationship was more intimate, I don't think I would be so worried. I've seen too many relationships where the couple breaks up because one of them wasn't "satisfying" their partner enough. I really don't want to seem like I'm all about sex or physical attraction, and it might sound corny, but I have needs, like primal needs, which I don't think I'll be able to control.

I really don't want this relationship to die, and I really love this girl. So my main question is, how can I try to get her to be more intimate with me, or what should I do about the problem I'm having?

i really cant understand how you can love someone you never met. i would suggest that you two either move near one another, or dont date at all. i dont think this is really healthy for you or anyone.

[moimeme]

how can I try to get her to be more intimate with me

You said:

I've wanted this for years, and I just don't think she feels the same way

That's your answer. It sounds like you want a different relationship and she does not. You can't make a person want you, unfortunately. You will either have to make do with the relationship you have or move on. I suggest you find yourself a girlfriend and consider this person just a friend.

[hideki]

Originally posted by moimeme
That's your answer. It sounds like you want a different relationship and she does not. You can't make a person want you, unfortunately. You will either have to make do with the relationship you have or move on. I suggest you find yourself a girlfriend and consider this person just a friend.

I guess I miswrote it. She is all for intimacy in person, but she doesn't seem to want to do anything about it online. I also think it would be a little awkward, but then again, I don't know what else to do.

Originally posted by moimeme
i really cant understand how you can love someone you never met. i would suggest that you two either move near one another, or dont date at all. i dont think this is really healthy for you or anyone.

Why can't you understand it? What is love anyway? I feel like meeting over the internet and falling in love is even better than meeting in person. Why? Because when you meet in person, there are many other factors that fall into play. Like acting differently around the person. Your mind could be racing or you could be nervous around them, all of these things could effect your feelings towards the person. So in a sense, getting to know someone online is more realistic. At least, to me it is. We know eachother better than we know people that live in the same house.

We're attracted to eachother's personalities, minds, and of course, we have some physical attraction based on our appearance. True, the relationship might not work out once we're actually together, but it's not at all impossible to love eachother beforehand.

[moimeme]

but she doesn't seem to want to do anything about it online

Some people just don't get into online intimacy. It doesn't float everyone's boat.