LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Romantic > Marriage & Life Partnerships > Infidelity

I am married and I have been having an emotional relationship with someone


Infidelity In an affair or suspect your significant other? Share your experiences and concerns here.

Old 22nd September 2003, 11:04 AM   #1
feelingcrappy
New Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: ohio
Posts: 2
"emotional affair"

I need help with some problems I am having. I am married and I have been having an emotional relationship with someone who is also married. This has been going on for 2 years.

Nothing physical has happened, but we have talked ALOT about our feelings. We both have children and agree that this is not something we want to do.

We have tried to just be friends and not talk about anything "between us" but it never works.

Any advice on how to deal with this?
feelingcrappy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22nd September 2003, 11:13 AM   #2
Leikela
Established Member
 
Leikela's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: The Garden State
Posts: 928
If you have already found that you cannot stop talking about the two of you, then wouldn't the next logical step be that you stop all communication? Why are you unhappy in your own marriage? Have you tried to fix that first? Obviously you aren't getting what you need from your wife so either fix it or leave. "Staying for the kids" is a common excuse for people to stay in an unhappy marriage. It's better off that your kids have happy parents. You'll be doing them a favor by separating. They pick up on negative energy and they'll think the way you and your wife behave with one another is normal and they'll be doomed to unhappy relationships when they get older too. Think about what you're doing...
__________________
"Your second chance makes a brilliant first impression
on someone who walks in just when you get it right." ~Unknown

"Your vision will become clear,
Only when you look into your heart.
He who looks outside, dreams.
He who looks inside, awakens." ~Carl Jung
Leikela is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22nd September 2003, 11:20 AM   #3
feelingcrappy
New Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: ohio
Posts: 2
I would be all for stopping all communication - but - he is my boss. I have tried to fix my marriage, but I have not had any luck. I guess it doesn't help matters much that my husband goes to lunch with his secretary every day.
feelingcrappy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22nd September 2003, 11:56 AM   #4
EnigmaXOXO
Established Member
 
EnigmaXOXO's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,359
Quote:
I guess it doesn't help matters much that my husband goes to lunch with his secretary every day.
So you are worried that your husband may be having an emotional affair as well? If so, your marriage may be in crisis and "fixing it" may be beyond your means without some real help.

You haven't actually done anything yet, so now may be the time to lay everything out on the table before it's too late and you've reached the point of no return. Once your emotional affair turns into a physical one, communication will shut down because then you'll be working too hard to keep what you've done a secret.

Tell your husband how spending so much time with his secretary makes you feel (if you haven't already). Tell him that you have also found a friend you enjoy spending time with...and although nothing has happened, you're worried if things continue the way that they have been, your afraid that both of you might eventually give in to temptation. You don’t need to give him names or details. Since you say nothing has happened yet, then those facts are irrelevant and will do nothing except make him angry and defensive. Tell him that you think your marriage is worth saving, but if the two of you can't come to some agreement/compromise on your own, then perhaps it might be in your best interest to seek relationship counseling. Tell him you’re willing to do whatever it takes to save your relationship, but that he must be willing to meet you half way.

If ever there was a time to make a move and yank this marriage back on track...That time is NOW! Remember, there’s nothing to be afraid or ashamed of. You haven’t actually DONE anything yet!

Please, please don't wait until it’s too late.
EnigmaXOXO is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22nd December 2005, 2:56 PM   #5
LifeRealistic
Member
 
LifeRealistic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: New Jersey : Monmouth County
Posts: 45
Plan a vacation and get a way for a while together. And the question is, do you love your husband, and do you think he loves you?
LifeRealistic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22nd December 2005, 3:37 PM   #6
JadeStar
Established Member
 
JadeStar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 2,889
This post was from 2003, I highly doubt that person is here anymore or still viewing this post.





Jade
__________________
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."

~Dr. Suess~
JadeStar is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 28th December 2005, 5:36 PM   #7
LifeRealistic
Member
 
LifeRealistic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: New Jersey : Monmouth County
Posts: 45
lol I guess they went away then for real lol- I have done this more than once on this site! Thanks
LifeRealistic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th January 2006, 4:23 PM   #8
teressa0397
Established Member
 
teressa0397's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: England
Posts: 90
Question get out of it

Quote:
Originally Posted by feelingcrappy
I need help with some problems I am having. I am married and I have been having an emotional relationship with someone who is also married. This has been going on for 2 years.

Nothing physical has happened, but we have talked ALOT about our feelings. We both have children and agree that this is not something we want to do.

We have tried to just be friends and not talk about anything "between us" but it never works.

Any advice on how to deal with this?
I will tell you this. Get out of it. It is not worth it. The pain emotional feelings the guilt. the crying holding on to him you will fine your self depressed . Dont put your Children and Family threw this??. wondering why he hasnt call you or E-mail YOu will be wondering all the time. I no i went threw this. Please dont put yourself threw that, IF he loves his Wife he wont leave her anyway. DOnt hurt her OK. DOnt hurt yourself...Let him go. NOW let me tell you about ME.,, I'am also married been haveing affair for 11 years. with same man. i'am hook on him like some one is hook on cracked its that bad. I have went threw all up above . OUt side the bed room he treats me like ****. PLease please stop. ITs too emotional on Heart soul body and mind. STOP
__________________
IT happens Only If you Allowed it.
teressa0397 is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Carrying old emotional baggage into new relationship upsetnhurt Breaks and Breaking Up 8 26th January 2005 11:59 PM
My Wife Hid an Emotional Relationship from Me -- Am I Over-reacting? coyotlboy Infidelity 16 9th November 2004 9:08 PM
HELP please! 1st serious relationship - Having some emotional issues MissTaerie Coping 5 27th October 2004 4:36 PM
emotional relations between two married people angel broken General Relationship Discussion 2 12th July 2004 3:55 PM
Wife Hid an Emotional Relationship from Me - Am I Over-Reacting? coyotlboy Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy 3 29th June 2004 3:13 AM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:21 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2009 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.