[T-Mama]

Back in December of 2000 I met G.A.D. @ work and I immediately felt a deep attraction to him. He didn't hesitate to let me know that he was attracted to me in the same way. Over the course of 3 weeks, we flirted, emailed each other & I gave him my #....then he told me about K.S.S. (his girlfriend). I didn't back away from the situation as I should've and we ended up establishing a (mostly) sexual relationship that lasted almost 2 years. I had an emotional interest in him, but although he'd initially made comments to me that lead me to believe that we would eventually have a "real" relationship, that never happened...he later just said I shouldn't have any expectations & he periodically reminded me that our "relationship" had boundaries. He remained with his girfriend & I remained in the background...basically just waiting for his phone calls and emails inviting me over to his place or letting me know he was coming by to see me for a couple of hours.

I thought I loved the guy....and he told me he loved me....but it was just a love that existed in our little secret world. I kept myself in that situation until I met my present boyfriend. I suppose as much as I wanted to be in his life in a genuine sense, I was willing to settle for just being "the other woman" just to hang onto him. For a few months, G continued to ask me to meet him for secret rendezvous, but I always declined. I was finally in a healthy, happy relationship (which he'd always said he'd really wanted for me to find) and I didn't want to mess that up....and I wanted to distance myself from that type of relationship with him.

Several more months past and he tells me he has repented & is living a Christian life and that he & his girlfriend (who at this point had been together 5 years)are finally getting married.....and yet (a couple of emails later) he invites me over for sex (which I still decline). From the beginning I asked him to tell his girlfriend about us, but I always respected his decision to keep things on the down-low......UNTIL he emailed me and told me he was basically tired of making small talk with me & that we were either going to have a "secret rendezvous for old times sake or nada". That upset me, I was already always feeling guilty that I allowed myself to be in that situation with him & that his girlfriend never found out about us....it made me feel even more guilty that he was getting married without revealing the secret to her (especially since he was obviously still prone to cheat....just a month before his wedding date he was talking to me & would've slept with me had I consented to it).

All of a sudden I decided to contact his fiance and tell her the whole story....she'd been disrespected for too long (by both of us).....I thought this would teach him a lesson too; I didn't think he'd ever really repent and change his ways if he were allowed to get away with his affair. I tried to email G's fiance anonymously. He apparently monitors her email account & replied back with vile language and death threats. She did finally get the message. G found out that I'd sent her the message and he of course had more threats and choice words to toss my way. I don't know if I made the right decision to tell her & I'm not sure if she actually married him anyway.....that's where the story ends.......Any input on this situation & my decision to finally reveal the secret?