[confused29]

I have been dating my boyfriend 8 years. We started dating when we were 18 years old so I feel that I have kind of grown up with his family. I love him very much. We have a nice house, a dog and we plan on getting married in the next year or so. There is just one thing that keeps interfering with me enjoying my life with him. His brother.

His brother and I have always been really close - best friends. (They are really close in age.) About 3 years ago my boyfriend and I were hanging out with his brother a lot. In fact they were living together. One day I needed a ride home and his brother kissed me. At first I didn't know what to think. It progressed a little bit but I said stop. He took me home and things felt weird after that.

About 2-3 weeks later we were all drinking at their apartment. My boyfriend had to go somewhere and his brother kissed me again. This time it went a little farther and again it stopped. This kept happening for about 6 months (we never had sex) and then we decided that it had to end. I told his brother to find a girlfriend and he did.

Unfortunately this really messed things up for our friendship because I was jealous of his girlfriend. I did not like her (partly because I was jealous and partly because she was a witch). This caused us to fight and the brother moved back home.

About a year after the brother started dating the witch they broke up. My boyfriend and I went to stay with him in the new city he had moved to. We went to the bar and when we got back we kissed again.

Three days later he got back with his girlfriend. This made me even more jealous of her and our friendship came to a complete end. We barely talked for the next year. Finally he realized that she was a witch and ended it for good.

We became friends again and my boyfriend and I moved in together. this was in January. His brother was hanging out a lot at our house helping us do things. One night we had a bunch of people over and we kissed again. I asked him why we keep doing this when we know nothing will ever become of it (even if I broke up with my boyfriend I could not date his brother). His answer was "for fun." Things got farther this time than they ever had and I really enjoyed it. What is wrong with me? Then 2 weeks later we all went downtown and he started rubbing my leg underneath the table with my boyfriend right there. On the car ride home we had to sit in back together and my boyfriend sat up front. He kept touching me everywhere. I told him to stop and got kind of angry at him. We didn't talk much after that. He started dating a new girl and stopped hanging out with us. They dated for about a month and broke up about a week and a half ago.

A couple of weeks ago his brother gave me a ride home from the bar. I asked him if he had a problem or if we were OK. He started holding my hand and soon we were going at it again. I told him I could not have sex with him (even though I really wanted to)

This past weekend we went on a family trip with his family. All I could think about the whole time was messing around with his brother. I noticed him staring at me often but nothing happened. We were just flirty as usual. I feel disappointed that nothing happened like he isn't interested in me. Now we are back and still I keep thinking about him. What should I do? Should I leave it alone, put my feelings aside and say nothing to him? I am scared that if my boyfriend and I get married that this will continue to happen. What should I do? I love my boyfriend but I am infatuated with his brother. What is wrong with me?