Once again....CALM DOWN. You're rushing into this very haphazardly and it is going to get you into trouble. There are no instant solutions or quick fixes.
As for your specific questions...
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i work out every other day
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You can probably get away with this because you are young. I would cut this back to 2-3x per week if I were training you.
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i do bench , curls , shrugs and french presses.
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You're training for looks. This is a very incomplete routine. Proper training is about targeting ALL of the major muscle groups of the body. You're flat out ignoring the top 2 (hips and thighs) and barely addressing the 3rd (back). Do not get caught up in the curls-for-the-girls mindset. That's for little boys....we're here to make a man out of you.
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I used to do sets before but recently i herd it was a fact that doing sets is useless because your muscles can only take so much punishment then after that its like kicking a dead horse its just putting yourself through needless agony.
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There is some truth to this. Marathon training is very inefficient. One of the keys to proper training is INTENSITY; you train briefly but very HARD. That's not to say you can't perform multiple sets, but there are very few people who would need more than 1-2 sets per movement.
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Another thing when i workout it hurts i mean it really really hurts but i want to be big so bad i do it neway is there something wrong with me should it hurt so much??
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I'm not sure what you mean....during training? Immediately after? The next day?
If you have acute pain or joint pain during training, stop. You should never have pain during the proper performance of a repetition. HOWEVER, it should be uncomfortable. Muscular fatigue and overall systemic demands generate all sorts of feelings that aren't pleasant, but none of it is really PAIN.
One possible cause of this is your form, which I can imagine is not very good. Poor form can lead to muscle/join/connective tissue aches. ALL movements should be done in a slow, controlled fashion. On all pressing movements, the elbow joints should never reach the point of lockout. There are probably other specific issues, but it is a bit premature for me to lay out proper form for every possible movement.
If you are sore (muscularly, not joint) the next day...well that's largely unavoidable. What you are experiencing is called DOMS, or Delayed Onset Muscular Soreness. This typically occurs after performing a new activity or an activity at a higher intensity level. The degree of soreness varies from person to person and also depending on what activities you performed. It is not an indicator of growth.