hi guys and gals
I been looking around for advice on relationships with a large age difference, i have looked at a couple of threads here, but would like to know any thoughts anyone might have
anyway, i'm 19, he's 40, so far we have just got to know each other and spent a bit of time together, hes a wonderful person, caring, and all that waffel.
I'm not lacking in a father figure, or anything along those lines
he dosen' want marriage (at any point, he left one girl who started wanting commitment) which i don't want either, at this point anyway, i admit that, at my age, one does not fully know what they want out of life.
the point is i don't know weather to take the relationship past its current point, he is not worried about the age difference but understands that it worries me sometimes
Well...let's put it this way. You are 19 years old, ready to start your life, ready to experience new things, ready to start going "out" in a few years once you turn 21, more active, etc. This man is 40, meaning he's been there, done that, and may not be interested in exploring life and having new experiences like you might due to your age. That may get in the way in the long run. Also, what if you both get serious, then you realize he is "the one"...if he going to run the other way, and if so, how will that make you feel if you decide you'd like a future with him. My advice...go and have fun with him, continue dating him if you'd like, but as far as getting serious, I wouldn't sell yourself short on a committment-phobe. He'll break your heart.
Do what makes you happy. Follow your instincts on this one. But, be careful. Don't get too serious too quickly or you might miss out on all the fun things people do in their early twenties.
There's a book out there by Dr. Barbara DeAngelos, Are You the One for Me, or something like that which says age-difference over 10 years is one of the 6 fatal flaws.
meaning, long term, forget about it...
however, if you must, short-term, have a ball, but be prepared to move on when the time has come.
thanks everyone
he always wanting to try new things so i have no worries about missing out on some things, but i can see your point(s)
i think i'll just go with the flow and see how it goes rather than pushing for or pulling away from anything
you are so young and he has already lived half of his life. i understand the need for older men but he's just a little to old for you. if he had kids there is going to be alot a resentment between them and you especially when daddy's new girlfriend is the same age as them or younger. i'm not saying that it can't work out, but do you think you are old enough to handle such critism, especially if the two of you were to get into an arguement and he says to you, you are nothing but a child?
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