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How do I NOT get sprung on a guy so fast?


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Old 30th November 2009, 1:00 PM   #1
justagirl09
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Exclamation How do I NOT get sprung on a guy so fast?

I met a guy on a dating site last night. He is pretty mature for his age, it seems. We got along really well, and I did feel an attraction. I usually can tell within the first 5 minutes. Anyways, i am in my mid-thirties and he is in his mid-twenties, specifically he is 12 years younger! I really don't think anything serious will come out of this, but I think he could be a good guy to hang out with, go on dates, etc. I really do enjoy his company. Last night, he said he hopes he gets to see me again really soon.

Anyways, my issue is this. It doesn't happen with everyone, but every once in a while, i meet a guy where I just feel this instant spark. That happened with this guy, but I don't want to get sprung! I know how this will go if I let it, and last time, i got majorly burned.

I had to force myself NOT to text him last night after we parted ways, and I have to force myself NOT to text him now. I happen to know if a guy is interested in you, then he will text you and want to talk to you. He is the one who initiated contact. He gave me his number and i gave him mine, and he took the first step.

So, what do i do so that my head is not spinning over this guy? yeah, its one of those guys where you feel instant butterflies in your stomach! i feel like i am 16 right now lol. HELP! ugh http://www.loveshack.org/forums/imag...s/confused.gif
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Old 30th November 2009, 1:06 PM   #2
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Ideally, you'd stop building him up in your head as the most wonderful human being ever just because you feel that spark. I think that's what gets people hooked - they feel the spark and then suddenly, all they think about are his amazing wonderful fantastic qualities...which, really, are mostly imagination working overtime to make him fit your dream ideal.

Keep reminding yourself he's just a guy with faults and flaws along with the good qualities. He puts his pants on one leg at a time, and somewhere out there are a string of his exes who hope to never see or hear of him again and curse the day they ever got involved with him.
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Old 30th November 2009, 1:17 PM   #3
justagirl09
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I know its my imagination working overtime. I am going to try to distract myself and eventually I will forget lol. The most important thing right now is for me not to get that itchy finger to text him!
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Old 30th November 2009, 1:20 PM   #4
deux ex machina
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Haha. I'm taking norajanes's advice myself!

ahhhh...you're enthusiatic and romantic and imaginative. All lovely things.

It would be nice if you don't end up all skittish and torn by men like me, though - so take norajane's advice.
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Old 30th November 2009, 1:21 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by justagirl09 View Post
I know its my imagination working overtime. I am going to try to distract myself and eventually I will forget lol. The most important thing right now is for me not to get that itchy finger to text him!
Give your phone to a trusted friend to hold onto?
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Old 30th November 2009, 1:23 PM   #6
justagirl09
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If only it were that easy! but I won't chase, so im not touching that dial!
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Old 30th November 2009, 1:25 PM   #7
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Good for you (I wouldn't either, it sounded like you were out of control for a minute there! ).
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Old 30th November 2009, 1:30 PM   #8
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Im apparently the only one on the thread who doesnt understand why you cant text him
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Old 30th November 2009, 1:40 PM   #9
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Im apparently the only one on the thread who doesnt understand why you cant text him
We've learned from experience that frequent texting brought about by eager interest and enthusiasm can cause guys to magically disappear out of fear of clinginess or flagging interest due to being "too sure" of her.
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Old 30th November 2009, 1:41 PM   #10
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If you already know nothing serious will come out of this, then stop seeing him and bail out now. You wont be able to resist getting attached for too long.
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Old 30th November 2009, 1:59 PM   #11
justagirl09
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Originally Posted by boogieboy View Post
If you already know nothing serious will come out of this, then stop seeing him and bail out now. You wont be able to resist getting attached for too long.
Well, i am not entirely sure nothing will (look at Demi and Ashton), but I just saw him last night so to text him already might seem too eager. Maybe when it gets closer to the weekend.
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Old 30th November 2009, 2:10 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by norajane View Post
We've learned from experience that frequent texting brought about by eager interest and enthusiasm can cause guys to magically disappear out of fear of clinginess or flagging interest due to being "too sure" of her.

Gotcha

Dont agree, but understand now.
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Old 30th November 2009, 2:20 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by justagirl09 View Post
I had to force myself NOT to text him last night after we parted ways, and I have to force myself NOT to text him now. I happen to know if a guy is interested in you, then he will text you and want to talk to you. He is the one who initiated contact. He gave me his number and i gave him mine, and he took the first step.
Be careful with that if you're going to play this game. I had one chick text me literally 25 hours after our first date. It was something like "ok a day has gone by and no message, care to tell me what I did wrong?"

Talk about a turn off. I probably would have been up for a date two until I read that.
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Old 30th November 2009, 2:21 PM   #14
InspiredbyYou
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Quote:
Originally Posted by justagirl09 View Post

That happened with this guy, but I don't want to get sprung! I know how this will go if I let it, and last time, i got majorly burned.

I had to force myself NOT to text him last night after we parted ways, and I have to force myself NOT to text him now. I happen to know if a guy is interested in you, then he will text you and want to talk to you. He is the one who initiated contact. He gave me his number and i gave him mine, and he took the first step.

So, what do i do so that my head is not spinning over this guy? yeah, its one of those guys where you feel instant butterflies in your stomach! i feel like i am 16 right now lol. HELP! ugh http://www.loveshack.org/forums/imag...s/confused.gif
Too late you are in WAY over your head emotionally already. The last thing you should do is kid yourself into thinking you can do a casual "no strings" relationship with this guy. You will get hurt.

Walk away or accept you will get hurt.
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Old 30th November 2009, 2:23 PM   #15
Ody
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Originally Posted by norajane View Post
We've learned from experience that frequent texting brought about by eager interest and enthusiasm can cause guys to magically disappear out of fear of clinginess or flagging interest due to being "too sure" of her.
Bleh we only dissapear if we're not that into it. The immediate texting just might just make it happen quicker if we're not into it from the start.

If a guy is reciprocal with the feelings he'll be thrilled to get some quick texts unless they are full on psycho like "I can smell our babies" or "are you a deep sleeper" or something.
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