I met this guy online a week ago and we've been talking on the phone several times a day (often over an hour each call) every day and he's the one that's been doing all the calling. When he's not calling me, he's sending me sweet text messages. We seemed to hit it off really well, so we scheduled to go on a first date after a couple days of talking. He canceled several hours before the date saying he wasn't feeling well and wanting to reschedule for a couple days later. Told him we'd play it by ear. Over the next few days, he keeps bringing up getting together and finally I agreed on Saturday. We even reconfirmed it Friday night! Saturday rolls around and no texts, no calls, he has apparently dropped off the face of the earth! My friends told me I shouldn't try to contact him first so I didn't.
Well, Sunday morning (today), he texts me "hey, how's it going?". Riiiight. A few minutes later followed by an apology for dropping off the face of the earth but that he really did not feel well at all.
I'm a very forgiving person to a huge fault, but I know that if I want any self respect I should also set and keep standards in who I date. So that's when I get mixed up as to when I shouldn't be so forgiving...
In every other way, on the phone, he's a great person.
I'm debating if I should call him and tell him I can't date someone that's that unreliable except I feel like he's going to throw it in my face that you can't control when and how sick you get. I'm also debating whether I should just never talk to him again and chalk it up to an interesting week of conversations. *sigh* Unless someone has some better advice?
Three times is a charm... If he's really that great on the phone and you really want to meet him face-to-face, give him one last chance. Have you seen each other's photos? Maybe he's just really insecure about his looks. I can come up with at least a dozen reasons for which he may be hesitant about a meeting. Next time he calls you I'd let him politely know that he's on thin ice now and you're about to move on...
I met this guy online a week ago and we've been talking on the phone several times a day (often over an hour each call) every day and he's the one that's been doing all the calling. When he's not calling me, he's sending me sweet text messages. We seemed to hit it off really well, so we scheduled to go on a first date after a couple days of talking. He canceled several hours before the date saying he wasn't feeling well and wanting to reschedule for a couple days later. Told him we'd play it by ear. Over the next few days, he keeps bringing up getting together and finally I agreed on Saturday. We even reconfirmed it Friday night! Saturday rolls around and no texts, no calls, he has apparently dropped off the face of the earth! My friends told me I shouldn't try to contact him first so I didn't.
Well, Sunday morning (today), he texts me "hey, how's it going?". Riiiight. A few minutes later followed by an apology for dropping off the face of the earth but that he really did not feel well at all.
I'm a very forgiving person to a huge fault, but I know that if I want any self respect I should also set and keep standards in who I date. So that's when I get mixed up as to when I shouldn't be so forgiving...
In every other way, on the phone, he's a great person.
I'm debating if I should call him and tell him I can't date someone that's that unreliable except I feel like he's going to throw it in my face that you can't control when and how sick you get. I'm also debating whether I should just never talk to him again and chalk it up to an interesting week of conversations. *sigh* Unless someone has some better advice?
you met him online... and he's flaked on you twice... SHOCKER!
seriously, how sick can he be that he couldn't even call you yesterday to cancel (again!) I don't think you need to really say anything to him... he already knows what he did was wrong. And my feeling is he wasn't sick at all... something "better" came along... another date with someone he met online probably. I don't think this giuy even deserves a response at this point.. but that's just me and I have a very low tolerance for flaky people.
__________________
" In every complicated situation of human relation...
making sense of it all takes a whole lot of concentration."
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The lack of consideration would be the deal breaker for me, not the failure necessarily to make the date itself.
My own schedule can be such that its not always possibel to anticipate what will come up at the office which requires my attention. Ill generally tell people Im interested in that this is the case when we begin talking. It doesnt happen often, but it does happen. And its generaly something that wont be resolved in a single night, so it isnt unheard of to have to push something up a week or more.
But to not even bother calling. Even if there was a legitimate excuse, which I doubt , and feel it probably is something worse than the not calling itself, there is noe xcusing the lack of consideration. If a person treats anyone that shabbily it says something important about them. If a person does it when they are presumably putting on their best face............
LOL
I made a date once and we agreed on a time to meet at this TGIF kind of place.Im there and she phones, asks if Im there, and says shes on her way. Gets there almost an hour late.
Sit down to dinner and she offers no explanation. So I ask directly why she was so late. She responds with something close to the following (not verbatim obviously). I never intended to show up at 6pm. I dont like coming on time in case the other person is late or doesnt show. So I only left afetr I already knew you were there.
Move on. He hasn't shown a single bit of consideration toward you in canceling the second attempt at a date without any explanation. I met a guy like this a couple of months ago; he seemed really nice and all, we made plans to get together two different times, both times he went totally AWOL on me, just disappeared, and I wouldn't hear from him for days. So I cut off contact after that second time. Believe me, doing that now will save you frustration and hurt.
He's a BBD guy. I've encountered people like that, even those who have become friends. Once I get a whiff of the BBD (that's bigger better deal) attitude, I black hole them. Happy to see them find that better deal, elsewhere
You can't control how sick you get, but you can control picking up the phone and letting the other person know you can't make it.
Even if he was dead sick and slept through the entire day and night and that's why he didn't contact you, the first thing he should have done was picked up the phone and apologized. Not sent a "test the waters first" text with "hey how's it going" or whatever.
Whatever his situation is, he messed up twice and I don't think he deserves any more chances. I am all for giving guys another chance, but this guy is a loser and doesn't deserve any more of your time. Sadintexas nailed it.
Whatever his situation is, he messed up twice and I don't think he deserves any more chances. I am all for giving guys another chance, but this guy is a loser and doesn't deserve any more of your time. Sadintexas nailed it.
I agree. She has given him enough chances already. Many women never even give a second chance. This guy was lucky to get a second chance at all. He's not interested or playing games or both.
I'm debating if I should call him and tell him I can't date someone that's that unreliable except I feel like he's going to throw it in my face that you can't control when and how sick you get. I'm also debating whether I should just never talk to him again and chalk it up to an interesting week of conversations. *sigh* Unless someone has some better advice?
How about, "I think it's pretty impolite to make plans with somebody and just flake off without making an effort to get in contact with them beforehand to let them know. That way they don't waste their time." If it were me, I wouldn't give him another chance. We teach people how to treat us and I think if you give him another chance it tells him that you don't value your time. I say that more because he didn't even bother contacting you to cancel - he just disappeared. That's bull****. Next guy that tries that on me will get zero response from me in return when he lands back on the face of the earth.
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