I have a crazy neighbour who shouts and swears at people. He's been ok to me and my family mostly, but lately in the last last few weeks he's started 'targetting' my youngest son who is 9.
He shouted and swore at him a few weeks ago and called him a 'little pri**k', then a few days ago he jabbed him in the chest and called him a f'ing little liar. Basically my son doesnt want to play with his kid - hardly surprising, he's just like Pa.....The son who is 6, then came to my house knocking on the door and running away all last evening
So, last night I went round there to tell him and his wife that their kid is doing this, and also if they have a problem with my son, they need to talk to me 1st and stop yelling and swearing at him. He ended up slamming the door in my face. Today, my son is outside playing and the man came and sat next to him, then said 'don't mind me, you just carry on doing what you're doing'. This is obviously quite scary and intimidating and has freaked me out.
I've had a few offers to 'sort him out' from male friends, but I don't think that would help. I am a single parent and I don't want to get into any ugly situations with this man. He does this to other people too not just us, but everyone sort of ignores it - even the ones with hefty Dads at home.
If I call the police he'll know it was me, and it could make things worse for my son. I don't usually have a problem dealing with stuff, but I don't know what to do about this - any suggestions?
Discuss it with your other neighbors and make this a community effort to call the cops and get this situation addressed.
Awesome answer! I agree.
But then again really who cares if he knows it was you? How will it affect your son? Will this effect your son because they won't let their kid play with him? Does your son have other friends? Will this effect be greater than the effects on your son by the man's behaviour? Guess you gotta think of what's more important for your son.
Isn't there a law or something against what the neighbor is doing? Some sort of City Code violation or HOA thing?
We can't change the things people do. But what we can change is the way we react, and the way we'd like to if the law allowed ;p
But then again really who cares if he knows it was you? How will it affect your son? Will this effect your son because they won't let their kid play with him? Does your son have other friends? Will this effect be greater than the effects on your son by the man's behaviour? Guess you gotta think of what's more important for your son.
Isn't there a law or something against what the neighbor is doing? Some sort of City Code violation or HOA thing?
We can't change the things people do. But what we can change is the way we react, and the way we'd like to if the law allowed ;p
Yes I agree I have to do something about, but I can't see anyone else getting involved as they haven't already. It affects my son because he can't go out & play now without us all stressing about what this man will do next. He's already got a warning from the police for racially abusing another neighbour's son, so I guess I'll just have to call the police next time something happens.
I just don't know if that's the smart thing to do, because him, his wife, and all his kids will basically give us a load of trouble if I do, and we all live in a really small place. I don't want to escalate the situation.
Yes I agree I have to do something about, but I can't see anyone else getting involved as they haven't already. It affects my son because he can't go out & play now without us all stressing about what this man will do next. He's already got a warning from the police for racially abusing another neighbour's son, so I guess I'll just have to call the police next time something happens.
I just don't know if that's the smart thing to do, because him, his wife, and all his kids will basically give us a load of trouble if I do, and we all live in a really small place. I don't want to escalate the situation.
This guy sounds like a real creep. I can understand why you hesitate to call the police, without some real evidence of a crime there is not a lot they can do put tell him to knock it off. You are anxious that this will just agitate him and his weird family more.
I do think that eventually the police have to be called. This just can't carry on and it will help to build a record of reports. As it stands now, police or not, I am sure you really don't want your son outside unsupervised. I would start to document all your interactions with this guy. Anytime he is verbally or physically threatening with you or your son put down the time, place, and details of the event and have it handy for the cops when you do call.
Good luck.
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I agree, ringing the police could make things worse for you.
But I think if a hefty man sorts him out, and tells him to not bother you again, then he wont bother you again. It really seems like the best thing to consider.
I agree, ringing the police could make things worse for you.
But I think if a hefty man sorts him out, and tells him to not bother you again, then he wont bother you again. It really seems like the best thing to consider.
I have to admit...my first instinct would be to give this dickhead an elbow to the grill. However...I think she needs to consider all her options first. This dude may retaliate and he seems like a bully so he would do it by going after her son.
I have to admit...my first instinct would be to give this dickhead an elbow to the grill. However...I think she needs to consider all her options first. This dude may retaliate and he seems like a bully so he would do it by going after her son.
Yeah it's not a risk she should take if there is too much of a risk, and I agree that this prick should get an an elbow to the grill. But I had the feeling if a bigger tougher guy goes round there, sorts him out, and tells him he'll come back if he goes near her again, she should be okay.
But I guess only she knows how this prick is and how her friends that offered to help her out are, to have a decent idea of how it'd all play out.
Last edited by Ross PK; 20th November 2009 at 5:05 PM..
He does this to other people too not just us, but everyone sort of ignores it - even the ones with hefty Dads at home.
See.. they ignore him.. so trying to put the whole community against him.. will be waste of energy...
Also calling the police, if he hasn't done anything 'wrong' will only make things worst IMO... not a good idea.. UNLESS he does something and it's not just your word against his.. unless you have witness.. you need to build up a case.. note everything.. time, date, etc.. if you're close enough with your next door neighbour, maybe you can ask them if they had any trouble with this jerk.. and if they had.. what they did about it.. take your time..
If I were you I would simply tell my son to stay away from this creep.. if he's sitting outside and this jerk comes and sits next to him.. your son should just get up and leave.. he wants to intimidate.. just ignore him.. and let him intimidate 'nothing'..
I'm not saying to lock your son inside.. tell him to go out and play.. to just stay away from this creep...
He shouted and swore at him a few weeks ago and called him a 'little pri**k', then a few days ago he jabbed him in the chest and called him a f'ing little liar.
Are you serious that the above is NOT against the law where you live for an adult to do to a 9 year old - especially someone ELSE'S 9 year old child? He can put his hands on your kid and yell and swear at him, and that's A-OK with the law?
Are you serious that the above is NOT against the law where you live for an adult to do to a 9 year old - especially someone ELSE'S 9 year old child? He can put his hands on your kid and yell and swear at him, and that's A-OK with the law?
Well. When I confronted him yesterday about this he said my son was lying again, or words to that effect. His wife was actually holding him back when I was speaking to him.
The problem is I haven't really got anything conclusive on him yet. I have had offers to sort him out - thats all very well, but he knows I live on my own, and can get to me or my son and retaliate any time he likes, so that's not really an option.
If I ring the police, I need to be sure that they will do something pretty serious. If they just go round and talk to him or whatever, it could just make things worse. I know this because that's what happened with him before, he got a caution and he laughs in the face every day of the people that reported him, and she doesn't let her son play out anymore.
It's my son I'm worried about, although he's quite canny and well able to stand up for himself if he has to, and he's got a lot of mates who will stick with him as well.
He shouted and swore at him a few weeks ago and called him a 'little pri**k', then a few days ago he jabbed him in the chest and called him a f'ing little liar
Yes, call the police or go by the station, especially after reading he jabbed your son in the chest. And, since this guy is known to the cops already, there's ANOTHER reason put a complaint in.
Yes, call the police or go by the station, especially after reading he jabbed your son in the chest. And, since this guy is known to the cops already, there's ANOTHER reason put a complaint in.
Yes I am going to do that tomorrow, and I'll get the police to tell him to stay away from my son and his mates. If he carries on after that, I'll go down the ass kicking route. Theres loads of people round here that would help me out if I as in trouble I think, plus, he's actually smaller than me...
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