[debbiec]

My husband and I separated 2 months after our marriage. This was last August. We continued to see each other and in January he asked to move back in. Immediately after that we got into a fight and he became distant, eventually breaking off all communication. (?) For the next 6 months he was very mean to me and I eventually changed my phone numbers. He asked for the package to start the divorce late August this year.

3 weeks after making that request I had to pick up a cheque from him and he invited me in - being super nice. Said he saw me out a few times and missed me. Long story short - we started visiting 2x a week. He apologized for a lot of things and initiated a lot of deep talks about what went wrong. Said he has not dated nor had sex with anyone since our separation. Said he had no interest. He did bring up sex to which I replied no as it wouldn't be a good idea - would mess things up as we are not in a relationship. This went on for about a month...so I saw him about 8-9 times.

Then a couple weeks went by and he disappeared. I emailed and asked him where he went, he said he got freaked out and backed off. Asked me over to talk that nite. He said "I don't know what I want". "I am not saying we will get back together". "Let's date" etc....
I did sleep with him - had a few drinks and spent the night. Next morning was nice, he was happy to have me spend a few hours yapping over coffee. This was a few days ago.

He took me on a date yesterday to the movies, picked me up and dropped me off after. Didn't try to get anything from me - it was a nice date. He paid and made the point of saying this was a date.

My question is this....I know men sometimes miss the comfortable ex sex and they will say and do what they need to "get some". I really am having a hard time figuring out if he misses me truly or saying all the right things to get laid. I think his intentions are good but afraid to believe in it - afraid to get hurt.

The thing is, don't you know if you want someone back or not? I know for sure I do...is not something I have to think about.

I figure some people here might be able to offer good advice. I really cannot afford to go back to that place I was in 6 months ago of a fresh breakup!

[kickintheaz]

hey OP..

not the best way to start a marriage??.. but.. sounds possibly like its just the sex to him..

you think he has good intentions then do not sleep with him..

if the dating continues and the niceness and he doesn't 'disappear' then reevaluate in the future at some point.

Remember he can talk all he likes, but make sure ya have to leave at the end of the evening, if a true reconciliation is on the cards, his actions will speak louder than words..

or the other option is full NC.. but that may not help the situation..

anyone else been thru similar?

[Lamak]

I feel that you need to stay away from him, because it sounds like he doesn't know what he really wants.