[OhthePain]

This is my first post after reading and re-reading the threads here. I am just in so much pain at the moment and cant seem to shake it off. I feel like a whole part of my life has just been washed down the drain. I met H 7 years ago and we have been married for 6. We were living in different countries and against my better judgment I moved to the UK. I left a well paid job in a bank, a wonderful network of friends and family and moved to have a family. Well we do. The kids adore him he is a great father but I am so unhappy I am finding it difficult think about them at the moment. In seven years I ahve not made any real friend, not for lack of trying its just how London is. I stay at home with the kids a lot of the time and run a business together with him. It doesnt make much money inspite of all the work we put in and H makes most of the money. I feel trapped in this cycle of not being enough. to make matters worse we dont have sex. H doesn't feel sexual. For some reason I think its my fault. A man tried chatting me up in the street and i told him he didmnt really want me cos even my husband didnt. I said it jokingly but that is exactly how I feel. Well H tells me it happens in marriages in the UK. People stop having sex and become room mates and to live with it. I am just beginning to accept the fact that I am turning 30 in a month and my sex life is over.
To make matters worse my husband has made friends with this guy who he adores, I didnt really mind it much in the beginning. But then he has sort of become a point of reference for our whole lives. I started making soaps and my husband suggested I put his name on it WTF! He goes running to him about our relationship problems and he comes spitting back his advices like they came from God's mouth. I am the other half of the relationship and I dont get told all these things. I am too embarassed to tell my friends whats going on. His friend came over last time and after listening to him spout all the wonderful stuff about this guy she told him "even I am sick of you going on about this guy and I am not married to you"
I am lonely in a marriage with a guy who thinks the light shines of some other guys a***e and I am sick of it. Maybe if I had friends and some money of my own it will make it better but i dont! Started looking for jobs yesterday. I hope I find one soon. This is killing me.
thank you all for listening.

[Auroracoladybug]

Is your husband gay? Please don't think I am being rude...I really wonder why there is no sex and another man is his obsession...sounds like there is so much more...where are you from originally? Have you asked for MC? Have you confronted him completely with your feelings (not just mention them)

[OhthePain]

I am from south Africa originally. I would never have thought he was gay! He says a lot of things on the contrary. Truth is I dont know anymore. I arrange marriage counselling a few months ago when this started but we ended up fightin bitterly on the way there and missed the appointment. I didnt try again after that. At this point I think he believes this guy has all the answers anyway. I blame myself partly because I was behaving like an ostrich hoping it will go away, its only got worse.