[superchick3177]

So here's my background story:

I'm 16 years old, youngest of 6 and i was homeschooled until i was 13 with my brother, who has Cerebral Polsy. From then we joined a alternative high school. It was a place for kids who had been kicked out of everywhere else. The work was easy and online so you could cheat your way through high school if you chose. It was nothing but potheads and druggies, and me and my brother. I went there because my brother needed a place that could give him an easy education where he would get one on one help. It was the only one that was free so we both joined. Because of the ex that fallows i had to switch to my first public school ever in September of 08.

When i was 14 i started dating a boy Nick. We fell in love, took one other's virginity and were together for a year. We spent every waking moment together and were very in love all his great friends became my great friends. We all hung out together all the time. Everyday like in that's 70's show. He told me he loved me after 9 days and i felt the same. Then again i was 14 and had no experience with boys like the other girls did. I had kissed a few boys and my longest relationship was about a month. I had never ever been touched anywhere by any boy until nick.

I attempted suicide to get his attention after a year together because he was ignoring me. Wouldn't even look at me. We broke up and it was the hardest thing i've ever gone through. He was my first in every way. First love, first lover, first to touch me, first male best friend.

After we broke up i was deep in depression and one of our best friends comforted me and became my best friend. we had sex and it got back to nick and he got violent. Started threatening me, spamming me, he made all of my friends and our entire school of only 40 kids turn against me. I went from having a great boyfriend and tons very best friends to having absolutly nothing. He showed naked pictures of me to the whole school and auctioned them to the middle 7th graders. This is when i switched schools to a different campus of the same school and started making new friends. Until he fallowed me and turned all of them against me too. you see, i refused to be near him so he made sure he was at every event that my friends when to. he kept tabs on anyone i had a crush on, somehow, and told rumors to them. This forced me to switch to my very first Public school. from 40 kids to 4,000. Not knowing a single soul there. In additon, my brother moved to California for college, leaving me to be the last kid left at home out of the 6.

When i came out of my depression i realized how there is so much more to life than a boy. So much more to it than staring at your phone every second hoping he will call. Hoping he will come over and give me a kiss.

I now live my life to the fullest. Its been over a year sense the break up and i've dated SEVERAL guys. From ages 14 to 20 and every single one tells me he loves me within a few days! Like head over heals "i've never met anyone like you before. My life has changed sense i met you. your the most amazing girl i know". And here am i saying umm.....i...like you i guess.

After what i've been through i know it takes a lot more than a few days to love someone. It takes sacrifice and compatability and does not happen in 3 days. It happens in 3 years. How can they love me when they don't even know me? It makes finding anyone impossible. Boys i've been with for a week talk about marrage and kids. About college together and all that. No matter if they are 14 or 20 i NEVER fail to hear the words I love you.

I'm not going to be oblivious. I am a very pretty girl and an amazing person. I know what i want to do with my life, I want to become an RN specializing in Trauma, I already know where i'm going to college. i teach little kids how to swim, i can party it up, i love comic books, i am very sociable, i have straight a's, I have a nice body and eyes that capture. I give the best advice and volunteer and the hospital. I'm a unique person and boys think that they are in love. But they just don't realize that i'm a cool girl. If i was a boy they'd just think wow your really cool and i'm glad your my friend. but no, they LOVE ME.

I don't know what to do. I will not lower my standards. I will fall in love when i meet a MAN that is what i am looking for and matches my amazingness. I deserve that. Everyone deserves what they want and i want someone like me. Someone who doesn't need me to survive. I won't compromise. Especially and this young age.

I don't want to have to stop dating though but i can't stand these needy clingly I love you i love you i love you little boys. What is your advice for me, if any? Advice on how to avoid them. On how to stop this. I'm scared that i'll get into college with the same problem and graduate and get into my career with the same problem and never find anyone. Its my great fear.

If i continue righting it will become rambling. So let me know what you think.

Thanks!
Superchick3177