[LonelyGuy85]

How do you know when taking the plunge to ask out a close co-worker is the right thing to do?

I have been sitting next to a girl that started the same time as me in my job 3 months ago, we talk everyday and have lunch together everyday. All told, she is great; Great sense of humour, nice to be around and i find her attractive.

However, we have also done some things outside work together, like watching a sports match, going out clubbing and even exercising together after work. Although these activities were group based. The problem is that i am useless in indicating that i have an feelings towards her, so i have slowly been building a friendship tomb for myself where i will shortly be unable to escape from.

But how do you know whether or not it's a smart idea to take the final step and admit your feelings, or to simply realise that it's not to go any further that where it currently is?

[boogieboy]

You dont admit feelings to someone you havent already fooled around with yet. If you really wanna seal that freind zone tomb, then you tell her how you feel. After all the hanging out youve done, If she hasnt made any moves on you yet, she might not like you like that anyway. What you have to do is start to slowly physically advance on her, little touches whatever, if youve already done that and her body language is positive, at some point soon you just go in for a smooch.

[LonelyGuy85]

I understand what you are saying. I don't mean to announce my undying love for her, but i simply mean to let her know how i feel and if she reciprocates at all.

The thing that makes me worried the most is that i don't want to risk losing the friendship as she does mean a lot to me, and an elephant like that in the room could end our friendship, which is the last thing i want to do. It seems to be a case of sitting in silence whilst slowly resenting myself for doing nothing or risk it all on a possibility that could potentially result in either something great or lose what could be a great friendship.

[Boundary Problem]

Originally Posted by LonelyGuy85

i simply mean to let her know how i feel and if she reciprocates at all.
.

As a woman I'm not interested in hearing how a man feels about me, unless there is attraction.

I don't know how a man determines if a woman is attracted to him - particularly if you work together and you don't want to 'cross the line" with Human Resources.

Perhaps the men here can help you with that.

[carhill]

But how do you know whether or not it's a smart idea to take the final step and admit your feelings, or to simply realise that it's not to go any further that where it currently is?

Nah, just distance yourself from her a bit. Seem (or be) preoccupied. Look around. Lots of cool women around. Survey your domain. I was just watching a group of nubile young Singapore Airlines flight attendants check in. OMG, I'm moving to Asia

That's how you get out of or avoid the friendzone; feel your power of attraction and interest as a man. Let it out every time you gaze upon a woman in your domain.

Distance yourself, wait awhile, maybe a month, and then, without further fanfare, ask her out. If she says yes, that's one answer. If she says no, that's another. Accept her answer. Smile in either case and go back to surveying your domain.